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I want to tell you first of all how very sorry I am for the terrible loss of your only son.  I cannot imagine how you must feel.  I am reminded of Hebrews 4:15-16 which says, “For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.”  This tells us that we have a great high priest, the Lord Jesus Christ, who understands what it is we are going through, whatever it is.  He is compassionate towards us in our times of suffering.  Realizing that the Lord understands and cares, we are invited to boldly come before His throne of grace and receive mercy and grace in our times of need.  The Lord will help you through your grief when you lay this terrible burden at His feet.

You seem to think that Lord has punished your son because of some sins in your past.  Let’s read the portion you referred to in your question.  Exodus 34:6-7 says, “And the LORD passed by before him, and proclaimed, The LORD, The LORD God, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abundant in goodness and truth, Keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, and that will by no means clear the guilty; visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children, and upon the children’s children, unto the third and to the fourth generation.”  This portion shows clearly the Lord’s mercy and grace; His patience and goodness towards the sinner.  We learn that the Lord is very forgiving.  He forgives iniquity, which is moral evil.  He forgives transgression, which is rebellion; and He forgives sin, which indicates a continual living in sinful ways.  While the Lord will not ignore the sins of the unrepentant guilty ones, He forgives all those that call upon His name.  Psalms 86:5 tells us, “For thou, Lord, art good, and ready to forgive; and plenteous in mercy unto all them that call upon thee.”

Yet, we also see that the Lord ‘visits the iniquity of the fathers upon the children…’  According to the meaning of this word, iniquity, the moral sins of a person will be judged in his children and his children’s children.  This is not necessarily the judgment of the Lord, but the natural result of living in moral sin.  If a father or mother lives an immoral lifestyle, this lifestyle will be learned by their children who are most likely to continue to live in the values of their parents.  This teaches us the importance of living lives of good examples before our children.  In most cases, morality is generational.  Children learn and live what they see in their parents.

Sometimes it is so difficult to understand why the Lord lets things like this happen.  Why would the Lord give you a son, only to take him away?  I just don’t have the answer to that question.  We can rest assured that whatever the Lord does is the right thing.  Genesis 18:25 asks the question, “…Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?”  We realize that since sin entered the world, we all come under that curse of sin, which is death.  Hebrews 9:27 says, “…it is appointed unto men once to die…”  But, why so young?  When thinking about the passing of one so young, I often consider the words of Isaiah in Isaiah 57:1-2, “The righteous perisheth, and no man layeth it to heart; and merciful men are taken away, none considering that the righteous is taken away from before the evil. He entereth into peace…”  Sometimes the Lord in His sovereignty moves in mercy to spare someone of future evil that may come upon him.  Rather than suffer through evil days, they, by the grace of God, enter into peace.  You can rest assured that your son is with the Lord in Glory.  He is at peace and is experiencing fullness of joy.

Thinking of how you lost your only son, I think also of how God gave His only begotten Son.  God loved us all so much that He gave the Lord Jesus Christ to be our sin bearer.  The Lord Jesus died on the cross as the perfect sacrifice for our sins, so that if we believe in Him, we will have the forgiveness of sins and receive eternal life.  John 3:36 promises us, “He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him.”

After King David’s young son died, David had the assurance that he would see his son again.  He said of his son in 2 Samuel 12:23, “But now he is dead, wherefore should I fast? can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me.”  I trust that you know the Lord Jesus Christ as your savior so that you can be assured that you will see your son again.  (89.4)