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I am so sorry for your dilemma.  It must be so hard to realize that the one you thought was the perfect husband is not the person you thought he was.  How important it is to make sure the one we marry is the one the Lord wants us to be with.  There should be much counseling and prayer before a person commits himself or herself to another person for the rest of their live.

As far as your question about divorce or annulment, let’s look at 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 which says, “And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.”  If at all possible to stay with your husband, the Lord would have you honor the vows you made to Him in the presence of your friends and family.  However, if it is not possible; if you are abused or in danger of being abused, you need to get away.  If you do leave, the Lord instructs you to remain unmarried and try to reconcile.  I suggest you find a good Christian counselor for help.  I’m sorry if this sounds cold or unfeeling, but it is what the scripture says.

The instruction here is that the husband not put away his wife.  Notice the difference in the terminology.  The wife departs, but the husband puts away his wife.  It means that even if you leave, your husband is not to divorce you, but seek to be reconciled.  If both of you are seeking to be reconciled, then your chances of a successful marriage are greater.

What if you leave and your husband wants a divorce?  1 Corinthians 7:15 says, “But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.”  If he divorces you, then you are no longer under the bondage of that marriage, but are free to move on and re-marry (as the Lord leads).  I do suggest that you do not begin any divorce proceedings.  If your husband absolutely refuses any reconciliation efforts and wants to be divorced, let him be the one that initiates that.

As a believer, you should seek to bring your husband to Christ, even if he doesn’t want to hear about his need of a savior.  Your example of Christ in front of your husband could cause him to want to be saved.  1 Peter 3:1-2 says, “Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.”

No one wants to be miserable for the rest of their lives, but divorce can be avoided.  I encourage you to get counseling quickly while there is still a chance to save your marriage.  Never underestimate the power of the Lord to make a good situation out of a hopeless situation.  I’m reminded of the words of the Lord in Jeremiah 32:27, “Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh: is there any thing too hard for me?”  I hope this helps.  I would love to hear how you are doing as you move forward.