I can relate perfectly to your question, for when my wife and I were married we too were “without God” and our vows never referred to God at all. In a side note to me you mentioned that after you were saved you confessed your sin of pride regarding your Godless vows and prayed that He would recognize you and your husband as a married couple. When my wife and I were saved we too wondered whether or not we were actually married “in God’s sight” since He was not in our thoughts at all at the time of our marriage.

A very helpful portion in Scripture dealing with marriage is 1^st Corinthians chapter 7, where the Apostle Paul answered various questions that the saints at Corinth had in regards to marriage. One of those questions deals with this very issue and Paul’s answer is just what we needed to see. I will read verses 12-14, 16, “But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. For the UNBELIEVING HUSBAND IS SANCTIFIED BY THE WIFE, AND THE UNBELIEVING WIFE IS SANCTIFIED BY THE HUSBAND; otherwise, your children would be unclean, but now they are holy…. For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?”

The question that was posed to Paul must have been something like this, “What should we do if one spouse becomes saved and the other spouse is still an unbeliever? Should the saved spouse divorce the unsaved spouse?” In essence, they were asking if God really considered them a married couple since they weren’t saved at the time of their marriage and now, with the conversion of one of them, they were in an “unequal yoke” (see 2^nd Corinthians 6:14). Paul’s answer makes it crystal-clear that God does indeed “recognize them as being married” and that they should remain married. Why? Because the unsaved spouse is sanctified by the believing spouse and the unsaved spouse may be won to Christ through the godly influence of the saved spouse. The word “sanctified” means “set apart” so Paul is saying that once a spouse is saved their unsaved spouse is in a place of blessing; they are actually set apart by being in a “place of privilege” where they can now hear the gospel and see the wonderful effects of the gospel in the life of their saved spouse, which may indeed lead them to putting their trust in Jesus Christ for salvation. Now even though this wasn’t the exact experience of my wife and I (for we were both saved on the same day), or the experience of you and your husband, it still teaches us that “God did indeed see you as married in His sight, even before you two were saved.” This portion goes even further by teaching us that the salvation of a spouse raises the marriage to a higher level, for that marriage is now blessed with the godly influence of a believer. With both of you being saved, it is “higher still,” for now you can both be an influence to any children you have, and to other family members and friends.

Regarding “renewing your vows,” many couples have done this for many reasons and I would see nothing wrong with you wanting to publicly acknowledge the Lord and your devotion to Him by doing this. It would surely be a wonderful WITNESS of His saving grace and the Lord may use that to speak to others of their need of Christ and it would be an encouragement to other believers as well.  But as we have seen, one does NOT need to do this in order “for God to see you as a married couple.” (454.3) (DO)