I thank you for these questions and also for giving me a “private letter” explaining many of the details that led you and your wife to separate and to eventually divorce her. Based on everything you told me, you were WRONG to divorce her. You were wrong because you had no scriptural basis for divorcing her. There are only two reasons that justify one divorcing their spouse.

In Matthew 19:9 we read, “And I (Jesus) say unto you, whoever divorces his wife, EXCEPT FOR SEXUAL IMMORALITY, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery” (NKJV). Jesus stated emphatically that unless your wife had committed “sexual immorality” (adultery), which she did not do, you have no grounds for divorce. He goes on to answer your second question as well, for if you do remarry you are committing adultery, so you are NOT free to remarry under those circumstances.

In 1st Corinthians 7:13 & 15 we read, “And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him….But if the unbeliever departs, LET HIM DEPART; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases.” Here we have a case where one spouse is a believer and one is an unbeliever. If the unbeliever chooses to desert/divorce the believing spouse, the believer should not resist. He/she should let the unbeliever go; in other words, a divorce is permissible and, in my opinion, they would also be free to remarry. Yet this scenario does NOT apply in your case, for both you and your ex-wife are both believers.

I am praying for you. I know that at one time you had truly repented of your sinful lifestyle and had changed for the better, with a real desire to be reconciled to your wife. I pray that her heart will, in time, be changed and that you could reconcile your differences and be reunited in marriage. The fact is in God’s eyes your divorce was not justified so He sees you two as still married. Now if your wife has remarried, or is living in sin with another man, that would complicate the issue. But if she has remained single and has not committed fornication, there is the possibility of a real reconciliation to take place. This is what I am praying for and I would encourage you to pray to that end. In order for this to happen, there will be the need for FORGIVENESS for both of you. She will need to forgive you for your past behavior and you will need to forgive her for her present behavior (of refusing to take you back after you had changed). Ephesians 4:32 declares, “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, FORGIVING ONE ANOTHER, just as God in Christ forgave you.” (329.3) (DO)