QUESTION: Does God have a specific mate for each of us to marry? If so, is it still adultery if we marry someone not of God’s choosing then divorce them and later marry the one God has chosen for us? Also, how do you find God’s mate for you if there is such a thing?
Listen: 99 Question 2
It is so very important to make sure the one we marry is the one we will be committed to for the rest of our lives. The Word of God is very plain. Let’s read Romans 7:2-3, “For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.” When a couple marries, they are bound by the law of God for the rest of their lives. If, after marrying someone, you begin to realize that you are not compatible with your spouse or perhaps think that you married against God’s will, the marriage vow is still sacred in the eyes of the Lord. The Lord hates divorce, as we read in Malachi 2:16 which says, “For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away…” If there is any way possible, the Lord wants couples to stay together and live lives that honor Him. Even the strongest Christian couples have problems in their marriages at times, but in dependence on the Lord, they will learn to overcome these problems and build successful marriages.
We know the Lord forbids believers marrying unbelievers, as we read in 2 Corinthians 6:14, “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?” We can be absolutely sure about whether an unsaved person is the one the Lord has for you. He does not want a believer to marry someone that does not have the Lord Jesus Christ as their savior. Perhaps that one may come to put their trust in the Lord, and then the Lord might draw these two together in marriage, but certainly not before.
What should a believer do that is married to an unsaved person? We read in 1 Corinthians 7:12-14, “But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.” Again, the Word of God is clear and emphatic; if a believer does marry an unbeliever; the believing spouse is then obligated to stay with that person. Being with a person that you are convinced is not the one you should have married is not a scriptural ground for divorce.
To be sure that the one you are interested in is the one the Lord wants you to marry, I suggest you seek good Christian counselling before being married. Go slow; make sure this person is a believer, desires to follow the Lord with you, and is well-matched to your personality and goals. (99.2)