Actually, there is nothing in the scriptures about a 1st true love. I will probably be accused of not being romantic at all, but the concept of ‘falling hopelessly in love’ is really a myth. Some have said, “I can’t help it. I just love him/her.” “I fell in love the first time I saw him/her.” “I can’t help who I love.” All of these are just romantic myths, as if we are helpless about who we love.

In Genesis 24, we have the well-known story of how Abraham found a wife for his son, Isaac. He sent one of his servants to find a wife for his son. We read the words of Abraham to his servant in Genesis 24:4, “But thou shalt go unto my country, and to my kindred, and take a wife unto my son Isaac.” As this servant sought a wife for Isaac, he prayed in Genesis 24:14, “And let it come to pass, that the damsel to whom I shall say, Let down thy pitcher, I pray thee, that I may drink; and she shall say, Drink, and I will give thy camels drink also: let the same be she that thou hast appointed for thy servant Isaac; and thereby shall I know that thou hast shewed kindness unto my master.” The servant then looked for this particular woman who would give him water to drink and also give water to his camels. In verses 15-28 we read of how the servant met Rebekah, a woman who was “was very fair to look upon” and realized she was the chosen woman for Isaac. The servant then revealed to her the purpose of his trip and she went with him to marry Isaac. We then read in verse Genesis 67, “And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent, and took Rebekah, and SHE BECAME HIS WIFE; AND HE LOVED HER: and Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death.”

I don’t endorse ‘fixed’ marriages where the parents choose the mate for their own child, but I relate this story to show that after Rebekah was brought to Isaac, he loved her. We don’t read that he ‘fell in love with her’, but he determined to love her and he did.

To determine to love someone is a serious act that requires much prayer and leading from the Lord. How do you find the one for you? How do you know who you should love and marry? Amos 3:3 asks the very crucial question, “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” It is important to find that one who is in harmony with your desire to follow and serve the Lord together. It is vital that the one you love, and possibly marry is a believer on the Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Corinthians 6:14, “BE YE NOT UNEQUALLY YOKED TOGETHER WITH UNBELIEVERS: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?” It is against the Lord’s will for a believer to marry an unbeliever. There can be no true fellowship and communion if both are not saved. In the case of a saved person marrying an unsaved person, they will have to find some foundation other than Christ as the basis of their marriage. That is most dangerous to the believer and it dishonors the Lord.

We read in 1 Corinthians 7:39 that our marriage is to be “only in the Lord.” That means that we should be united in prayer with the one we desire to marry and allow the Lord to lead us to make that choice. While we tend to like the idea of a great romantic experience (and I do love romance), to love someone and marry them is a decision to be made with great forethought, prayer, and a desire to please the Lord in our relationships. After we have identified that person (with the Lord’s leading), then we can enjoy a romantic life with them. I have been married almost 45 years now and still love be romantic and loving towards her. It’s when we allow our emotions to overtake our intelligence that we tend to get led astray and often wind up in relationships that do not last. (261.4)