Why was the best part of my life taken from me? I should have died, not her. She was full of light from the Lord and was the best part of life to me. This is like being in Hades to me. God, please tell Joann I’m trying my best to be good and to meet her again. It’s hard and I feel like a broken record; asking for forgiveness and then not acting like a Christian.
Listen: 64 Question 2
(Before answering this question, I need to let everyone know that Joann was my cousin. She passed away suddenly last year. Joann had a clear testimony of faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.)
I am so very sorry for the loss of your dear wife. I can’t say that I know what you are going through; my wife is still living. But I can sympathize with you over such a great loss. I want to share some scriptures with you that might help you as you try to deal with Joann’s death.
You mentioned that you are trying your best so you can meet her again. In 2 Samuel, we have the account of the death of King David’s son. He was very sick and David prayed continually for him. He refused to eat as he lay on the ground all night, praying for his son to recover. Let’s begin reading in 2 Samuel 12:18-24, “And it came to pass on the seventh day, that the child died. And the servants of David feared to tell him that the child was dead: for they said, Behold, while the child was yet alive, we spake unto him, and he would not hearken unto our voice: how will he then vex himself, if we tell him that the child is dead? But when David saw that his servants whispered, David perceived that the child was dead: therefore David said unto his servants, Is the child dead? And they said, He is dead. Then David arose from the earth, and washed, and anointed himself, and changed his apparel, and came into the house of the LORD, and worshipped: then he came to his own house; and when he required, they set bread before him, and he did eat. Then said his servants unto him, What thing is this that thou hast done? thou didst fast and weep for the child, while it was alive; but when the child was dead, thou didst rise and eat bread. And he said, While the child was yet alive, I fasted and wept: for I said, Who can tell whether GOD will be gracious to me, that the child may live? But now he is dead, wherefore should I fast? can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me. And David comforted Bathsheba his wife…”
I realize there are some differences between David’s story and the passing of Joann. Joann was your wife, not your son; and Joann passed away suddenly while David’s son was sick before he passed away. However, we can learn a lot by looking at what David did when his son died. He took great comfort in knowing that he would see his son again. He said in verse 23, “I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me.” David knew that his son was now in Heaven. As a believer on the Lord, David also knew that one day he would be in Heaven and he would see his son there. I imagine these were the very thoughts that David used to comfort his wife, Bathsheba.
By her testimony of her faith in the Lord Jesus, I do believe that Joann was saved and she is now in the presence of her dear savior. Psalms 16:11 tells us that, “…in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.” I’m sure you are glad that Joann is no longer suffering and is experiencing joy greater than she could ever have had here on earth. But, I know that you are suffering. You have lost your partner in life. What can you do, where can you go to find relief from your sorrow? Speaking of the goodness of the Lord, Jeremiah wrote in Jeremiah 31:13, “…I will turn their mourning into joy, and will comfort them, and make them rejoice from their sorrow.” It is when we turn to the Lord that our sorrow is turned into joy.
Grieving is a process; it does take time to adjust to your loss, but when you put your trust in the Lord, he will give you a whole new perspective. When you put your faith in the Lord, you will be able to say “I shall go to her.” Only those who have trusted in the Lord Jesus Christ for their salvation have the assurance they will spend eternity in Heaven. Joann trusted the Lord and she is there now. 2 Corinthians 5:8 says, “We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord.” For the Christian, when we leave our bodies, we go directly into the presence of our Lord and savior. If you have never realized your need for salvation, I encourage you to put your trust in the Lord Jesus Christ as your savior. Romans 10:9-10 says, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.”
I really don’t know why Joann was taken from you. Certainly the Lord knows, and we have these words of assurance in Genesis 18:25, “…Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?” The Lord always does what is right and what is best. When we can’t understand His ways, we need to trust Him.
Joann loved you, just as you loved her…and still do. I know that her desire would be for your salvation, so that you might enjoy all the joy she is experiencing right now. It’s not found in asking for forgiveness or trying to act like a Christian. Salvation is found in the Lord Jesus Christ. Ephesians 2:8-9 makes it clear, “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” Salvation comes through putting your faith in the Lord for salvation. I’ll leave you with a verse that I’m sure you know. Think about what this verse says, and let the love of God give you comfort and direction: John 3:16, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”