Not only does the Bible tell us to be gentle and kind to others, it does show us how to do that.  Let’s read Ephesians 4:31, “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice.”

There are such good practical lessons for us to learn in these two verses.  First, we are instructed to put away ALL bitterness, wrath (hot tempered), anger, clamour (quarrelling, fault finding), and evil speaking (slander).  For the believer, these things should not be found among us.  These are all characteristics of the flesh, and we are told in Galatians 5:16, “This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.”  Here, we learn that if we walk, or live, by the leading of the Holy Spirit, we will be able to overcome the enticements and desires of the flesh.  We are able to overcome these bad behaviors when we dedicate ourselves to the Lord and allow Him to control our lives. 

We learn in Galatians 5:22-23, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.”  When we walk according to the Spirit, the result will be evidenced by our thought behavior and our actions.  Is this something we can actually do?  Yes, it is!  2 Corinthians 10:5 tells us, “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.”  It is important to realize that the Lord never instructs us to do anything that He does not give us the ability to do.  We can allow the Lord to control our thoughts.  We can allow the Spirit to guide us through God’s Word so that we can resist the flesh and live a life under that power of God.

Now, let’s consider Ephesians 4:32 which says, “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”  In verse 31, we were instructed in what things we are to abstain from.  In this verse, we are instructed about what things we should exhibit in our lives…kindness, being tenderhearted, and having a forgiving spirit towards others.  The power for doing this is the example of Christ, Himself.  The Lord Jesus exhibited these positive traits when He laid down His life on Calvary’s tree to die for our sins and He continues to exhibit these traits in His daily dealings with us.

  • He was kindhearted.  “I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, WHO LOVED ME, AND GAVE HIMSELF FOR ME.” (Galatians 2:20).
  • He was tenderhearted. ”But thou, O Lord, art a God FULL OF COMPASSION, and gracious, longsuffering, and plenteous in mercy and truth.” (Psalm 86:15).
  • He forgives.  “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9).

Christ is the perfect example for us to follow so that we might live our lives in a way that pleases and honors the Lord.  THAT is how we can be gentle and kind to others!

It is by the leading of the Spirit that we can abstain from sinful behavior.  It is by the example of Christ that we can behave in a godly fashion towards others.  (CC)  (648.2)