I like your question.  I like to think you are asking because you or someone you know is in this situation and would like to be restored to your spouse.  We read in Malachi 2:16, “For I hate divorce,” says the Lord…” (NASB).  The Lord wants your marriage to last and be successful and will guide you both into a successful, God honoring marriage as you look to Him.

We read of the Lord’s purpose in marriage in Matthew 19:5-6, “And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”  In the institution of marriage, the Lord designed it to be permanent while on the earth.  The Lord would have married couples look to Him to enter into marriage and count on Him to make their marriage to be honorable to Him and satisfying to them.  To “put asunder” means to separate.  God’s will in marriage is that when two people are joined together in matrimony, they will not separate but will continue in their marriage. 

I assume you and your spouse have had problems in your marriage that has led to your separation.  There is no doubt that a successful marriage can be a struggle.  After a while, a married couple may find they have different desires, different interests, different goals, etc.  As one who has been involved in counselling couples who desire to be married, I recommend highly that ALL couples seek good, godly counselling before marrying.  A good counsellor will try to help the couple realize there will be struggles ahead, but will encourage the couple to look to the Lord together for a successful life together. 

I am thankful you desire to be reconciled to your spouse.  Since there have been issues that have caused you to separate, I’d like to offer some words of counsel to you both:

• Seek good, godly counsel to help you address your problems before moving ahead.
• Begin praying together even now…giving yourselves over to the Lord.
• Begin attending church services together and seek to grow together in the Lord.
• Begin studying your Bibles together, seeking God’s Word for strength and guidance.
• Surround yourselves with fellow believers who can help you as a couple to be strong in the Lord.
• Determine to stay together in obedience to God’s Word.

I pray that as you work together to heal your marriage, you both will seek God’s will in every part of your lives.  Keep in mind the precious and powerful instruction we have in Colossians 3:12-19, “Put on (lit. clothe yourself) therefore, as God’s elect, holy and beloved, a heart of compassion, kindness, lowliness, meekness, longsuffering; forbearing one another, and forgiving each other, if any man have a complaint against any; even as the Lord forgave you, so also do ye: and above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfectness. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to the which also ye were called in one body; and be ye thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly; in all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts unto God. And whatsoever ye do, in word or in deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Wives, be in subjection to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.”  (CC)  (669.6)