I have recently been divorced by my wife because she said she no longer loves me. It has been said to me in church that God has a plan for me, and that my divorce will be part of that plan. How can this be when God declares that divorce is wrong and he hates it?
I am saddened to hear of your heartache. The Lord Jesus cares very much for you in your pain. As we read in 1 Peter 5:7, “Casting all your care upon him; for He careth for you.” He loves you and will never stop loving you. In John 13:1 we read that “having loved His own which were in the world, He loved them unto the end.” How thankful we can be that Christ’s love for us is “an everlasting love” as we read in Jeremiah 31:3.
It is true that God has a plan for our lives. We read in Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope” (NASB). It is also true that God hates divorce. We see this in Malachi 2:16, “For I hate divorce,” says the Lord, the God of Israel” (NASB). Therefore, divorce is not part of God’s perfect will for someone’s life. We read of His perfect will in Romans 12:2, “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”
In addition to God’s perfect will, the Scriptures also speak of His permissive will. He permits things to happen that are not part of his perfect will. To see an example of God’s perfect will compared with His permissive will, please read the story of Balaam in Numbers 22-24. To summarize, Balaam was a prophet who was offered money by Balak, king of Moab, to curse Israel. Balak was afraid that the Israelites would conquer him since they had conquered the Amorites. In Numbers 22:10-11 Balaam told God about Balak’s request, and in verse 12 “God said unto Balaam, Thou shalt not go with them; thou shalt not curse the people: for they are blessed.” This was God’s perfect will about this matter. Balaam initially refused to go with the Moabites, but then reconsidered and wanted to hear more from God after Balak made an even more generous offer. This time, God said in verse 20, “If the men come to call thee, rise up, and go with them; but yet the word which I shall say unto thee, that shalt thou do”. Here we have God’s permissive will.
Another example of God’s permissive will is found in the life of Joseph. God permitted Joseph’s brothers to sell him into slavery in Genesis 37:28 which says, “Then there passed by Midianites merchantmen; and they drew and lifted up Joseph out of the pit, and sold Joseph to the Ishmeelites for twenty pieces of silver: and they brought Joseph into Egypt.” However, God worked everything together for good in Joseph’s life. Joseph was eventually promoted by Pharaoh to be “over all the land of Egypt” as we read in Genesis 41:41, and was used by God to save the lives of many people during a famine.
God permits things to happen in our lives that are difficult to understand. However, the Christian can find much encouragement in Romans 8:28, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” As He did for Joseph, the Lord will bring good out of your divorce, dear friend. He loves you and has the absolute best for your life. (164.7) (DJ)