Well, my dear friend, I can only tell you that the institution of marriage was not created by a church body, but rather it is an institution established by God Himself way back in the Garden of Eden. But indeed, it seems to me to be right and good that Christians would be married in the presence of the local church since Christians will want the world to witness their testimony of a godly marriage, which would be marriage according to God’s original plan. Thus, I will attempt to outline for you what the Scriptures tell us about marriage, because I believe that the Word of God should be our sole source for guidance in all matters of life (Psalms 119:101-102). God’s Word is truth, and this truth is what we are to hold fast to in all of life’s matters (2 Timothy 1:13). I believe that the work of the church (the assembly) is not to establish institutions or doctrines according to what some church council or even the congregation as a whole might prefer, but Paul’s message to the churches is that they preserve and teach the precepts of the Word of God (see 2 Peter 1:20 and 21; 2 Timothy 2:2, also 2 Timothy 2:15).

So where did the institution of marriage come from? The earliest reference to marriage is found in Genesis 2 where we read that God Himself brought Adam and Eve together: “Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man…Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh,” (Genesis 2:22-24). These verses clearly indicate God’s purpose and design for marriage, and of course, this guidance predates the church and even the law of Moses. We see another example of marriage predating the church and the law in Genesis 29:22-23 where we read: “And Laban gathered together all the men of the place and made a feast. Now it came to pass in the evening, that he took Leah his daughter and brought her to Jacob; and he went in to her.” Both examples occur long before the church was established, but the pattern outlined by God for marriage is clear according to God’s original design as expressed in Genesis 2. God and not the church instituted marriage, and the essentials of God’s purposes for marriage are clear. Marriage was to be a permanent union between a man and a woman, regardless of what modern preferences might dictate. In the second example from Genesis 29, the father-in-law, Laban, held a feast prior to the wedding, then he gave his daughter to Jacob, and they went together into their tent. Who officiated in these marriages? In Genesis 2 it was God Himself, and in Genesis 29, you might say that Laban officiated in that he held a feast to show all in his camp that these two were to be husband and wife, then only after the feast did he bring his daughter to Jacob. The purity of this union was confirmed as there was no intimate coming together allowed until all those in attendance at the feast had witnessed that the actual coming together was reserved for the wedding night.

But now, what about today in the church age? Marriage is still to go according to God’s perfect design as outlined in the Scriptures, and is not subject to the modern whims and preferences of our society. In 1 Corinthians 7 we see an exhaustive explanation of what a Christian marriage should look like, and again this reflects God’s original purposes and plan for the institution of marriage. If Christians decide to be married, they are only to marry within the faith, or as stated in the Bible “only in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 7:39.  See also 2 Corinthians 6:14). You’ll notice that divorce was never a part of God’s design but was in fact something that man himself introduced to God’s plan as we see in the verses above.  In Matthew 19:6-8 we read the words of the Lord Jesus regarding marriage, “’So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.’  They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?” He said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.” Thus, we see clearly that marriage as an institution was not a creation of the church, but instead an institution created by God, and according to His plan. As to a “church wedding,” we are always to marry in the Lord (or according to the Lord’s leading) if we marry, and divorce is not part of God’s plan nor according to His perfect will.  (SF)  (714.2)