How can I be happy in my marriage when my husband is not a Christian?
Listen:15 Question 4
When we walk with the Lord, there is great joy whatever our circumstances. In Acts, chapter 16, we find the Apostle Paul, and his traveling partner, Silas in the city of Philippi. While there, they were unjustly accused, beaten and thrown into prison. Yet we read in Acts 16:25, “And at midnight Paul and Silas prayed, and sang praises unto God: and the prisoners heard them.”
Consider David. His young son was very sick. David prayed very much that the Lord would heal his son. We read in 2 Samuel 12:16-23, “David therefore besought God for the child; and David fasted, and went in, and lay all night upon the earth. And the elders of his house arose, and went to him, to raise him up from the earth: but he would not, neither did he eat bread with them. And it came to pass on the seventh day, that the child died. And the servants of David feared to tell him that the child was dead: for they said, Behold, while the child was yet alive, we spake unto him, and he would not hearken unto our voice: how will he then vex himself, if we tell him that the child is dead? But when David saw that his servants whispered, David perceived that the child was dead: therefore David said unto his servants, Is the child dead? And they said, He is dead. Then David arose from the earth, and washed, and anointed himself, and changed his apparel, and came into the house of the LORD, and worshipped: then he came to his own house; and when he required, they set bread before him, and he did eat. Then said his servants unto him, What thing is this that thou hast done? thou didst fast and weep for the child, while it was alive; but when the child was dead, thou didst rise and eat bread. And he said, While the child was yet alive, I fasted and wept: for I said, Who can tell whether GOD will be gracious to me, that the child may live? But now he is dead, wherefore should I fast? can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me.” David found joy in the realization that he had not seen his son for the last time. He knew that his son would not come back from the dead, but he also realized that his son was in Heaven and that he would go to see him someday. Even in the face of losing his young son, David found joy and worshipped the Lord.
To be married to an unsaved man can cause you much sorrow. Perhaps your husband does not appreciate the fact that you are a believer. Perhaps he is even mean towards you because of your testimony. One sad thing about being married to someone that is not saved is that you are not able to share together in the precious truths, promises, and love of the Lord. Your relationship is naturally limited. Amos 3:3 asks the question, “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?”
In spite of all this, the Lord loves you and wants you to be happy. You can find much happiness by drawing near to the Lord. Read His Word, pray, meditate upon His truths. Fellowship with other believers. Perhaps you can meet with other Christian women for special times of fellowship. There are so many different ways you can be encouraged and refreshed by being with fellow believers. There is also so much happiness found in being in service to the Lord. In Psalms 100:2 we are reminded to, “Serve the LORD with gladness: come before his presence with singing.” In service and worship, our hearts are filled with gladness and singing. You can serve the Lord right in your home by seeking to win your husband to the Lord. I’m sure you love him and would love for him to be saved. Perhaps you have talked to him already about his need of salvation. Don’t give up. As long as he is willing to listen, continue to tell him the good news that the Lord loves Him, that He sent His son, the Lord Jesus Christ to die for His sins, and that if he believes on the Lord Jesus Christ, he will be saved. It’s good to know Bible verses that relate to salvation so you can tell him how to be saved.
The Apostle Peter has advice to women seeking to be a witness to their unsaved husbands. In 1 Peter 3:1-2, he says, “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.” You need to be a good testimony to your husband by obeying God’s Word. Even if you are not able to talk to him about the Lord, your conversation, or behavior, should be a good example of how a believer lives. Sometimes, without even saying a word, someone can be won to Christ by showing the love of Christ to others.
The Lord loves you and wants you to be happy. He also loves your husband and wants him to be saved. 1 Timothy 2:4 tells us that the Lord, “…will have all men to be saved, and to come unto the knowledge of the truth.” If your husband accepts the Lord, both of you can walk with and serve the Lord together, and there will be great happiness in your home.