This is such an important question for the believer. Surely, we want to be with the one who will encourage us, serve the Lord with us, and be the ‘help meet’ that the Lord wants to be in our lives. To answer your question, let’s look into the Word of God.

We read in 2 Corinthians 6:14-16, “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.” This is foundational. It is against God’s will for us to be ‘yoked (joined) together with unbelievers.’ What is the basis of the relationship if our partner is not saved? It can’t be the Lord because the unbeliever does not know God and has not received the eternal salvation that comes from knowing Christ as our savior. If your girlfriend is not saved, she IS NOT your God given partner. However, if she should come to be saved, the Lord may have you two be together, but NOT until she becomes saved. It is wrong to commit to a relationship, or even to marry someone in hopes they might get saved. Being a believer is the first and absolute requirement to having a relationship with someone.

2 Corinthians 13:11 tells us to, “…be of one mind…” Are you and your girlfriend of the same mind in Christ? Do you have the same doctrinal beliefs? Can you fellowship together completely, or do you have differing thoughts about what the Bible teaches? Some believe that eternal life cannot be lost. Some believe that eternal life can be lost. Some believe that faith in Christ is the only means of salvation. Some believe that we must also do our best, or be baptized to be saved. To have a productive God-honoring life together, the two of you should be of one mind. 1 Corinthians 2:16 tells us that, “…we have the mind of Christ.” Are both of you yielding to the will of Christ and allowing Him to show you His truths through His Word so that you might walk together in agreement with Him? Amos 3:3 asks that most important question, “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?”

Do you and your girlfriend pray together? Do you study God’s Word together? If not, your relationship is not centered around Christ. To determine if she is your ‘God given partner’, your relationship must have Christ as the CENTER. It’s not enough that you both are saved. It’s not enough to have Christ IN your relationship. No, you must have Christ as the CENTER of your relationship, allowing Him to have His way in both of your lives. If either of you are not ready for Christ to be Lord of your lives and of your relationship, then you are not ready to have a relationship.

I encourage you to lead your girlfriend in praying that the Lord would reveal His mind to you, revealing to you if He wants this relationship to continue. Continue praying until you both are satisfied that this is the Lord’s will, or realize that it is not the Lord’s will for you to be together. I encourage you to wait on the Lord for as long as it takes to discern His perfect will. May you become so convinced that you may say, as the Psalmist did in Psalm 118:23, “This is the LORD’S doing; it is marvellous in our eyes.” (239.10)