How should a Christian wife treat her unsaved husband if he is an alcoholic, lies, and won’t support her financially?
Because you are a CHRISTIAN wife, I am going to assume that you would like to see your husband get saved. If that happens, his behavior towards you and others will greatly improve.
I can imagine that life with your unsaved husband can be very frustrating at times. The fact that he drinks, lies, and refuses to properly support you only increases the frustration. However, this is not something that the Lord cannot correct. When one accepts the Lord Jesus Christ as his/her savior, they become brand new people with brand new desires and behaviors. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says, “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” His standing before the Lord is new and his attitude towards the world is new.
The root cause of your husband’s actions is the fact that he is not saved. How can you help your husband come to the Lord? We read in Romans 10:9-10, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.” We then read in verses 14-15, “How then shall they call on him in whom they have not believed? and how shall they believe in him of whom they have not heard? and how shall they hear without a preacher? And how shall they preach, except they be sent? as it is written, How beautiful are the feet of them that preach the gospel of peace, and bring glad tidings of good things!” Your husband needs to hear of the free gift of salvation that the Lord offers him if he will trust in the Lord Jesus as his savior. I think I can assume that since you have great concern for your husband, you have probably often told him of the Lord’s love for him and how he needs to trust the Lord Jesus.
In addition to telling your husband about the Lord, there is another important thing you can do. We read a message to ladies who are in like situation as you are in 1 Peter 3:1-2, “In the same way, you wives, be subject to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won over without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your pure and respectful behavior.” (NASB). Your behavior towards your husband speaks volumes. Even without using words, you can illustrate Christ’s love to him by living the life of a Christian woman in front of him. Ephesians 5:22 says, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” I know that submitting to an unsaved husband may be a difficult, but that is the best way to win him to the Lord. Notice that you are to submit, “as unto the Lord.” As you submit yourself to your husband, you are submitting yourself to the Lord. This also includes the realization that you should not do anything that would contradict the Lord’s will. Even as you submit yourself to your husband, you should not do anything immoral, illegal, unhealthy, etc. If your husband should ask you to do something that is contrary to what the Bible teaches, then you must refuse his request.
Let us also consider 1 Corinthians 7:14, “For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.” Your husband, although unsaved is ‘sanctified’ by you. The word ‘sanctified’ literally means that he is separated and put in a special place to hear the Word of God and to witness the behavior of a saved person. He is in a place of constant testimony of God’s love and grace.
I would particularly encourage you to be in constant prayer for your husband. As we read in James 5:16, “The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.” Pray that your husband will see his need of a savior and accept the Lord Jesus Christ and his Lord and savior. (472.4)