I am a 58-year-old woman that was abused as a child. I have struggled with drug addiction. I turn my life over to God many times but end up right back where I started. I pray to my Lord Jesus to help me. I beg for the power to not use again, but it seems like when I do mess up, I feel so unworthy of His love. How do I convince myself that God will forgive me? I am doomed it seems.
Drug addiction is a very powerful and controlling part of the lives of too many people. Can the Lord bring you through this and end this drug addiction? Of course, He can! First, you asked about God’s forgiveness, so let us consider this before addressing your addiction. For the believer on the Lord Jesus Christ, we have this promise from 1 John 1:9, “If we confess our sins, HE IS FAITHFUL AND JUST to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” The forgiveness of God is not based on how many times we sin or how many times we ask for His forgiveness. It is based on the faithfulness and righteousness of God Himself. He has promised to forgive us when we truly confess our sins. God cannot lie (Titus 1:2), so we can believe what He says at all times. He promises forgiveness. Along with that, we want to remember His words to the woman caught in adultery in John 8:1-11. In verse 11, the Lord says to the woman whom He has forgiven, “Go and sin no more.” The Lord desires that we cease from sin, but He still promises His forgiveness if we sin.
Let’s consider Matthew 18:21-22, “Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.” If the Lord expects us to forgive and forgive, surely, He will also forgive and forgive.
There are many reasons why people turn to alcohol and/or drugs. Some just look for the recreational aspect of being high. Some turn to drugs and alcohol to deaden the pain of abuse, loss, depression, etc. In either case, seeking to escape reality NEVER turns out well. The Bible tells us in Galatians 6:7, “Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.” If we partake of drugs and alcohol, addiction is a real consequence. The Lord emphatically tells us in Ephesians 5:18, “And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit.” The Lord does not want us to be controlled by alcohol or drugs. He wants us to be controlled by the Holy Spirit. Drunkenness, or being high, is sinful and, simply put, we should not do it…EVER.
Repentance and confession are the first steps for the believer to get away from any addiction. When we seek the Lord’s help, He will react either by direct or indirect methods. There are many stories of someone who prayed for deliverance from drug addiction and were instantly delivered. I cannot comment on cases that I’m not familiar with, so I will not try to prove or disproves these claims. Certainly, God is able. However, it seems the Lord is more likely to heal from drug addiction using indirect methods, such as doctors or rehabilitation clinics. Perhaps you will find relief from your addiction by checking yourself into a drug rehab facility and allow those knowledgeable about addiction help you get over your addiction. I encourage you to continue to pray and ask the Lord to take away your addiction. In addition to that, listen for the Lord’s ‘still small voice’ which may be instructing you to find some good counsel and rehab center.
To deal with the pain in your past, the Lord wants you to draw near to Him and use His strength to deal with the things you have suffered. We read in Psalm 50:15, “And call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me.” Look to the Lord to deliver you from your sorrows. Drugs and alcohol can never help you, rather they will hurt you terribly. (425.4)