Well, my dear friend, I am guessing that you have experienced the deep hurt of having been wronged by someone. This can be a most painful and difficult situation for the believer to navigate. First of all, in the beginning phrase of your question you mention that the person might not deserve forgiveness. Well, I suppose this might be true, but then which of us deserves forgiveness before the Lord? And yet, grace and forgiveness are precisely what our Lord Jesus gives us all when He became a sin offering for us, He who knew no sin, through the shedding of His precious blood on Calvary’s cross (2 Corinthians 5:21). It is certainly true that we all are sinners by nature and by choice, and none of us deserve mercy and grace from God. Therefore, we must rest wholly upon the grace of God in Christ Jesus in order to receive forgiveness for our sins and for our salvation.  In 1 John 1:9 we read that “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” We have been forgiven much; therefore we should have a forgiving spirit given the mercy we have received (Matthew 18:21-35).

So, as to your question, I agree that we are directed in Scripture to be merciful and of a forgiving spirit, even when we have clearly been wronged, and even if there seems to be no repentance on the part of the offender. Certainly, the Lord Jesus makes this clear in His Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5:7 and 44-45; also 6:14-15). Furthermore, we have the following exhortation in Ephesians 4:31-32: “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you.” And yet, how can the Christian have a forgiving spirit in the face of the hurtful and sometimes cruel actions of others? When someone who has hurt us is not sorry for what they have done, this can be very difficult, even for a Christian. I do assure you, though, that God never directs us to do something that we do not have the ability, with His help, to accomplish.

Thankfully, He has given to born-again Christians all the resources we need to do His will, but this power is not in ourselves.  It is from God, so we must look to Him for the strength to do His will. The Apostle Paul writes in Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” The moment we believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, we receive the Holy Spirit to indwell us, and we are born again with a new nature which seeks to please God. We do yet have the old nature while in the world, and the old nature cannot please God; thus in our own strength, we never will be able to be loving and forgiving as the Lord would have us to be. But then, thankfully, we read in 2 Peter 1:3-4, “…His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue, by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises, that through these you may be partakers of the divine nature having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.”

My dear friend, we live in a world which has been ruined by sin, and we all, one way or another, will experience the disappointments and even sufferings which have been brought about by Adam’s fall. Sin is the root cause of all our troubles in this scene, but if you are born again, then you can know that God Himself is there for you to help you through those times that try the soul through His Word and by the power of the Holy Spirit. Additionally, believers have the consolation of great glory when Christ returns to the earth. Even if the one who has done wrong to you seems to get by with impunity, I pray that you will ask the Lord for strength to act according to His will. Through the Holy Spirit, you have the power within you to respond in a godly manner, without bitterness which would only hurt you further. Do please continue to search the Scriptures prayerfully in the faith that God will show you the way.  (SF)  (696.1)