Is a marriage that is based on lies a real marriage? I mean if the man lied about his status before marrying a lady and she later finds out, is it okay to walk out of the marriage?
It is so sad when things like this happen. Two people enter into a marriage relationship only to find out they do not know the other one like they thought they did. Lies were told and were undiscovered until after the wedding. This is why is it SO IMPORTANT to know who you are marrying. Too often someone’s eyes are filled with stars. They ‘fall in love’ with someone and, all of a sudden, they do not see what might be obvious to others. They refuse to see what they need to see because they are certain this is the right one for them.
The decision to marry someone is one of the most important decisions that a person will ever make. It will determine who you will share your life with. The scriptures give us some vital guides when choosing a life-partner.
2 Corinthians 6:14, “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?” This teaches us that a believer on the Lord Jesus SHOULD NOT marry someone who is not a believer. This is ABSOLUTELY VITAL. What fellowship can there truly be when a believer marries a non-believer. It there is a bond between, it is certainly not the Lord. It must be a bond that leaves the Lord out. While some might think that by marrying a non-believer, I have often pointed out that marriage was never meant to be used as an evangelistic tool. Scripture could not be clearer. A believer should not marry a non-believer.
1 Corinthians 7:39 tells us that a marriage should be entered into “in the Lord.” This means that the couple should be brought together as the Lord leads. If two believers are considering marrying each other, the fact that they are both believers IS NOT the only criteria for marriage. Two believers can still be incompatible with other when it comes to marrying. Before entering into a marriage relationship, it is so important that the two believers seek the Lord’s guidance. They should pray together to determine if it is the Lord bringing them together. They should strive to make sure that their marriage is “in the Lord.” However, in both of these cases, once marriage is entered into, it is binding, both legally and spiritually.
But…what happens if you marry someone only to find out they are not the person you thought they were? Scripture is emphatic in telling us that marriage is meant to last a lifetime. Matthew 19:5-6 tells us, “For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” We read in Malachi 2:16, “For the Lord God of Israel says that He hates divorce…” (NKJV). I believe there are only two legitimate grounds for divorce according to the Word of God.
FORNICATION – Matthew 5:32, “But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.”
ABANDONMENT – 1 Corinthians 7:15, “But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.”
This is why it is SO IMPORTANT that a marriage begins “in the Lord” and continues under the guidance of the Lord. When we make our marriage vows before the Lord, He takes them very seriously and expects us to take them very seriously as well. I see no reason that one cannot leave their spouse in the event of abuse, threatenings, etc. but I do not believe they have scriptural permission to remarry.
In your question, you mentioned about a man who “lied about his status.” I’m not quite sure what you meant by that, but if the man was already married and did not tell you about that, then your marriage is invalid and illegal. (You should see a lawyer.) I believe you would be free to leave him and be free to marry another…only “in the Lord.” (320.2)