My friend and I are Christians, but she is going through a lot of problems right now. I’d like to help her but I don’t know how. Can I do anything, or should I just leave her alone and let her work out her own problems?
First of all, I am thankful that you want to help your friend. This shows love and a tender conscience for your friend. You recognize that she is going through a lot of problems and your desire is that things will be better for her. You have not been specific about her problems, so it is hard to give specific council to you, but I will try to give some scriptural principles that you can use to help your friend.
Of course, the first thing I recommend is that you pray for your friend. James 5:16 assures us that, “The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.” It is important to bring your friend before the Lord and commit this care to Him. According to His perfect will and time, He will answer your faithful prayers. It is also important that you tell your friend that you are praying for her. That will be a source of comfort to her.
If your friend is having financial problems and you are able to help, I suggest you be in prayer about that. 1 John 3:17 says, “But whoso hath this world’s good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him?” I don’t think it is wise to just throw money at a problem, but if you sense the leading of the Lord to help in some financial way, then do it. It may cause sacrifice on your part. You may have to give up something of your own to help, but sacrificial giving should be part of our lives as believers.
Sometimes, just being with a friend who is going through problems is enough. Romans 12:15 instructs us to, “Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.” Just to sit with your friend and listen to her in her sorrow, may go a long way in relieving some of her burdens. There is an old saying that goes, “Joy shared is joy doubled. Sorrow shared reduces the trouble.” I think that truth is shown in the verse we just read. It is so important to be able to share your problems with someone that you know cares for you. That’s why 1 Peter 5:7 is such a wonderful verse for Christians. It says, “Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.” When we know someone truly cares for us, it makes it easier to share our cares with them. You may not have all the answers to your friend’s problem, but just being with her, listening to her, and praying with her will benefit her greatly.
I wouldn’t suggest that you “do nothing.” Seek the Lord’s guidance, asking Him to show you what to do to be a help to your friend. People often will stay away from someone that is suffering because they just don’t know what to say to them. Psalms 81:10 says, “…open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.” If you are before the Lord, and looking to Him, He will give you the right words to say to your friend that will be a help to her. Remind your friend that true help will come from the Lord. Psalms 46:1 says, “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” Encourage your friend to cast all her cares upon the Lord. Encourage her to look to the Lord, seeking His guidance. Remind her that the Lord will not give her more than she is able to handle, as we read in 1 Corinthians 10:13. It says, “There hath no temptation (or, trial) taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.”
The Lord has made a promise to all that believe on Him. Hebrews 13:5 says, “…I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.” He will not abandon your friend in her hour of need. As the Lord leads, I hope that you will not abandon her either. Walk with her through this trial. May the Lord use you greatly in ministering to your friend’s needs. I will be praying for you both.