What a tragic turn of events. After being with your husband for 26 years, he informs you that he is really a woman in a man’s body and now wants to live as a woman. Unfortunately, in our incredibly permissive society today, many would consider your husband’s condition as a ‘Gender Identity Disorder’ and would applaud him for his bravery in being honest with his feelings.

Let’s see what the Bible has to say about your husband’s ‘condition’. Let’s read Psalm 139:14-16, “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.” The Lord created us all with the gender He wanted us to have. The Lord made us; He determined our gender. He looked upon us even before we were born, while we were yet ‘unperfect’, or not yet fully formed. If the Lord had wanted us to be a different gender, He surely would have made us different.

To those who insist they are one gender, but should be another, I suggest reading Romans 9:20 which says, “Nay but, O man, who art thou that repliest against God? Shall the thing formed say to him that formed it, Why hast thou made me thus?” Although it may be ‘politically correct’ to be sympathetic and accepting of those who want to change their gender, the Bible is crystal clear in its teaching. The Lord made us; who are we to contradict the Lord or dispute with Him? Who are we to question the Lord in His forming of us? Isaiah 45:9 tells us, “Woe unto him that striveth with his Maker!”

You asked if you must stay with your husband. I would certainly advise you that you should not engage in any homosexual activity if your husband goes through with any gender altering surgery. As far as divorce, we read in Matthew 19:9, “And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.” This, and possibly desertion, are the only two scripturally acceptable reasons for divorce. It may be that you are no longer able to live with your husband, but I encourage you to stay single. I’m sure your thoughts are not for another man right now! If your husband ever commits adultery, either with a woman or another man, then you would be free to divorce him and marry another.

I encourage you to continue to pray for your husband. If he is truly a believer on the Lord Jesus, you may be able to appeal to him with these scriptural references. Ask the Lord to convict his heart about his sinful desires and behavior. The Lord is certainly able to change his mind and allow him to see clearly. Ephesians 3:20 tells us that the Lord, “…is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think…” We will be praying for you both. (170.9)