I am very sad for you that you have been going through this deep trial for many years. Things happen in our lives that we do not understand, causing us to wonder why God has not intervened. You are not alone in your anguish, questions, and doubts. When the circumstances of our lives do not make sense, we need to see what God tells us in His Word. Before I share some verses to address your concerns, I would like to share Titus 1:1-2. “Paul, a servant of God, and an apostle of Jesus Christ, according to the faith of God’s elect, and the acknowledging of the truth which is after godliness; In hope of eternal life, which GOD, THAT CANNOT LIE, promised before the world began.” Please keep in mind as you read the verses below that GOD CANNOT LIE.

It may SEEM like the Lord has forsaken you, but He has not done so. We read in Hebrews 13:5, “Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, “I WILL NEVER DESERT YOU, NOR WILL I EVER FORSAKE YOU” (NASB). We also read in Isaiah 41:10, “Fear thou not; for I AM WITH THEE: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.”

God is not only with us. He is FOR US. We read in Romans 8:31-32, “What then shall we say to these things? If GOD IS FOR US, who is against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?” (NASB). We read in Psalm 56:9, “Then my enemies will turn back in the day when I call; This I know, that GOD IS FOR ME” (NASB).

When we feel the need for our faith to be increased, then we need to spend more time in God’s Word. We read in Romans 10:17, “So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.” As we study God’s Word, our faith in Him will be increased.

Concerning your experience of losing hope, let us read Romans 15:4. “For whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope.” This verse encourages us to study the Old Testament Scriptures. As we see that hundreds of Old Testament prophecies have been fulfilled in the New Testament, it increases our hope that things that have not happened yet will happen.

Is our hope a “hope so” kind of hope? No! We read in Hebrews 6:17-20, “Wherein God, willing more abundantly to shew unto the heirs of promise the immutability of his counsel, confirmed it by an oath: That by two immutable things, in which IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE FOR GOD TO LIE, we might have a strong consolation, who have fled for refuge to lay hold upon the hope set before us: WHICH HOPE WE HAVE AS AN ANCHOR OF THE SOUL, BOTH SURE AND STEDFAST, and which entereth into that within the veil; Whither the forerunner is for us entered, even Jesus, made an high priest for ever after the order of Melchisedec.” The word “immutable” means unchangeable. These verses are saying that the hope we have that we will be with Jesus in heaven someday is a strong and sure hope. This hope is an anchor for our souls. Our souls display many emotions, but the sure hope that we will be with Christ forever in glory someday keeps us anchored and steady in our faith. God’s desire for you is to abound in hope. We read in Romans 15:13, “Now may THE GOD OF HOPE fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will ABOUND IN HOPE by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

You mentioned that the Lord seems to be blessing your dad more than your mom. If your dad is an unbeliever, then Psalm 73 applies to him. We read in Psalm 73:3, “For I was envious of the arrogant

as I saw the prosperity of the wicked” (NASB). Verse 12 says, “Behold, these are the wicked;

And always at ease, they have increased in wealth.” Then we read in verses 16-18, “When I pondered to understand this, It was troublesome in my sight Until I came into the sanctuary of God; Then I perceived their end. Surely You set them in slippery places; You cast them down to destruction” (NASB).

We may not see the results in our lifetimes, but God will judge righteously someday. We read in Psalm 7:11, “God is a RIGHTEOUS JUDGE, And a God who has indignation every day” (NASB). We are not to take matters into our own hands and seek vengeance. We read in Romans 12:19-21, “Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, “VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY,” says the Lord. “BUT IF YOUR ENEMY IS HUNGRY, FEED HIM, AND IF HE IS THIRSTY, GIVE HIM A DRINK; FOR IN SO DOING YOU WILL HEAP BURNING COALS ON HIS HEAD.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (NASB).

Please continue praying for your parents. God sees the big picture which we do not see. Even though this has been a heart-wrenching trial in your life, God will bring good out of it, even if your parents do not get back together. The God who CANNOT LIE tells us in Romans 8:28, “And we know that ALL THINGS work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”

Concerning feeling depressed and drained, I would encourage you to reach out to a trusted Christian friend or Christian counselor. If your depression is severe or you have thoughts about hurting yourself, please talk to your doctor about your feelings since you may also need medication or additional help to get you through this rough time. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. May God bless and encourage you abundantly!  (DJ)  (608.2)