Please explain Proverbs 31:3 about giving our strength to women.
This particular prophesy are the words of King Lemuel’s mother to him, which he, by the will of God, passes on to us. We read in Proverbs 31:1-3, “The words of king Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him. What, my son? and what, the son of my womb? and what, the son of my vows? Give not thy strength unto women, nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings.”
Who is this King Lemuel? We know practically nothing about him. In all the Bible we only read his name here in verses 1 and 4. His name means, ‘belonging to God.’ Lemuel was a king, and many suppose that this is referring to Solomon himself. Strong’s Concordance states that Lemuel is a symbolic name for Solomon. If that is true, then these words before us are the words of Bathsheba to her son. We read in Proverbs 6:20-21, “My son, keep thy father’s commandment, and FORSAKE NOT THE LAW OF THY MOTHER: Bind them continually upon thine heart, and tie them about thy neck.” Let us consider these words carefully, then.
“Give not thy strength to women.” That which we give our strength to is that to which we devote our time and energy. Excessive indulgence is always unattractive, and it weakens us. To those in great power, this truth is even greater. To spend our time seeking to enjoy the pleasures of different women is so destructive. This is sound advice from Bathsheba for 1 Kings 11:1 tells us, “But king Solomon loved many strange women, together with the daughter of Pharaoh, women of the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Zidonians, and Hittites.” Solomon had a penchant for many women, and this played largely into his pitiful downfall. Although he was a man of great wisdom, Solomon refused to reign in his lustful thoughts and actions. We are instructed in 2 Corinthians 10:5, “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and BRINGING INTO CAPTIVITY EVERY THOUGHT TO THE OBEDIENCE OF CHRIST.”
“Nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings.” Let’s consider this portion given in the accurate Darby’s translation, “nor thy ways to THEM that destroy kings..” To ‘chase after’ loose women can certainly destroy a man, especially to one in high authority. It is important for us all to realize that an adulterous life weakens not only the body but it also weakens the mind. When we continue in sin, we begin to justify our thoughts and actions to the point that we lose sight of that which is right and that which is wrong. If we take our eyes off the Lord Jesus Christ, then we can quickly begin to give our wealth, our health, our families, and even our lives to unseemly behavior.
Let’s continue to read more of this sage advice. In verses 4-5 we read, “It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine; nor for princes strong drink: Lest they drink, and forget the law, and pervert the judgment of any of the afflicted.” This goldy mother warns against the perils of alcohol. Drinking too much alcohol will cause us to have cloudy thinking. We come under the influence of the alcohol and it begins to control us. We are instructed in Ephesians 5:17-18, “Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is. And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit.” The Lord does not want us to be controlled by alcohol. He wants us to be controlled by His Spirit. (445.2)