Normally, jealousy is a bad thing, however there is a such a thing as ‘godly’ jealousy.  Let’s see if we can discern the difference.

Human jealousy is the result of when we desire what others have, or we despise others because of what they possess.  This can be physical possessions, societal position, respect among their peers, etc.  Jealousy can rear its ugly head at any time and for so, so many reasons.  We read in Proverbs 14:30, “A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones.”  Envy is a word greatly akin to jealousy.  Envy or jealousy can disrupt our own lives and take away our happiness when we focus on the state and possessions of others instead of being thankful for the ways the Lord has blessed us.  The destructive power of jealousy is seen in Proverbs 27:4, “Wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous; but WHO IS ABLE TO STAND BEFORE ENVY?”

Let’s consider 1 Corinthians 3:3 which says, “For ye are yet carnal: for whereas there is among you envying, and strife, and divisions, are ye not carnal, and walk as men?”  To walk as men, or to live carnal lives, leads to jealousy, strife, and divisions among the Lord’s people.  To walk as men is to live our lives controlled by our own personal, fleshly desires.  Jealousy, strife, and division are all results of living according to the flesh, or according to our own lusts and wants.  How can we cease to walk as men and thus not live lives dominated by our jealousy of others?  Galatians 5:16 is very clear in saying, “This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.”  When we live our lives allowing the Holy Spirit to direct us, we will find we cease to be jealous of others, instead we can rejoice in the blessings that others have.  By walking according to the Spirit, we can truly fulfill the instruction of Philippians 2:3 that tells us, “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.”

We know that our God is a jealous god as we read in Exodus 20:5, “Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me.” (Read also Exodus 34:14, Deuteronomy 4:24, and others).  God is jealous of His honor and glory in matters of worship and would resent any slight given Him in that way. This really shows in a most expressive manner the love of God to His people. He felt for them as the most affectionate husband could feel for his spouse; and was jealous for their fidelity, because of His great love for them.  He wanted the best for them, and their unfaithfulness often caused them to bring judgment upon them, which is not what He desired for them. 

To be humanly jealous is to feel resentment, bitterness, or hostility toward someone because they have something that you don’t.  On the other hand, godly jealousy causes us to seek the betterment of others and to rejoice in their accomplishments and blessings.

We have the words of Elijah in 1 Kings 19:10, “And he said, I have been very jealous for the LORD God of hosts…”  We have the words of the Apostle Paul to the church in 2 Corinthians 11:2, “For I am jealous over you with godly jealousy: for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ.”  In this case, Paul is actually saying he passionately loves the Lord’s people.  He was full of tender attachment to them.  In this ‘godly jealousy’ Paul sees the danger these people faced, and he feared that they were in danger of being seduced from the simplicity of the gospel. 

You asked about being jealous ‘for’ your wife.  In this jealousy, seek the benefit of your wife.  Put her needs above your own and go after her happiness.  Help her in her walk with the Lord by walking with her “in the Spirit.”  Guard her.  Encourage her.  Lead her in the path of truth.  This is godly jealousy and is precious and acceptable in the sight of the Lord.  (CC)  (629.6)