33 Question 4

Your question actually has many layers, so let’s try to look at each one.  For two people to be in a sexual relationship before marriage is called fornication.  1 Corinthians 6:13 tells us, “Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body.”  We also read in 1 Corinthians 6:18, “Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.”  In our permissive society today, sleeping together before marriage or even living together before marriage is largely acceptable.  Our morals and standards seem to change over time, but we read in Malachi 3:6, “I am the LORD, I change not…”  The standards the Lord gives us in His Word will never change.  Sin will always be sin, no matter how much society’s standards change.  If there is fornication in your relationship, then you should stop immediately and confess your sin to the Lord.  How comforting to the Christian are the words of 1 John 1:9, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”  When we are convicted of our sins, and confess them to the Lord, He will forgive us and then cleanse us from the unrighteousness of our sins.  While some use 1 John 1:9 as a verse to bring someone to salvation that is not its purpose.  It is ministry to the believer that has sinned and now wants forgiveness from their sins.  I realize that even Christians give in to the desires of the flesh and commit fornication.  Earlier we read 1 Corinthians 6:18 which tells us to “Flee fornication.”  This was written to believers, so we see the reality that even believers can be tempted to have a sexual relationship outside of marriage.  The Bible is clear about this: Run away from it.  Don’t put yourself in the position to give in to the lusts of the flesh.  Thank the Lord that if we do give in, there is forgiveness for us with the confession of our sins.

Now, if there is pregnancy in the relationship, that adds an extra layer.  Pregnancy is not the sin.  Pregnancy is the result of the sin.  When two believers are married and living for the Lord and learn that the Lord has blessed them with a baby, this is a wonderful thing.  Those two Christian parents can depend on the Lord and His Word to guide them in the raising of their child.  However, when the parents are not married and they learn they will have a baby, things get complicated and decisions have to be made.  You asked if you should get married because there is a baby on the way.

If one of you is saved but the other one is not, then I could not advise you to marry.  2 Corinthians 6:14 plainly states, “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?”  To be yoked together, means to be bound together as in marriage.  To be in a relationship with someone that is not saved is playing with fire, to marry someone that is not saved goes against the clear teaching of the scriptures.  This is why it gets complicated.  Although two people may have a child together, that does not set aside the teaching of 2 Corinthians 6:14.  If that is the case, then I urge you to witness to your partner.  If you need help, ask someone to talk to them about their need of the Lord Jesus Christ.  It would be so hard to raise a child alone, but to marry an unsaved person because of pregnancy will only make matters worse.

If you and your partner are both believers on the Lord Jesus Christ, then you should realize that as Christian parents you have the job of living and setting an example to “bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” as we read in Ephesians 6:4.  In that case, to be married would be the right thing to do.  First, you should both confess your sins to the Lord and ask for His guidance as you begin your lives together as husband and wife and as parents.  To be married before the baby arrives would be best so that you can start your family in the bonds of a Godly marriage.