What are some of the reasons for failed marriages?
There are numerous reasons for failed marriages. Financial problems seem to be a top reason. Sexual difficulties. Unfaithfulness. Disagreements on many, many issues. Failure to commit to the marriage commitments. Different religious beliefs. Alcoholism and/or drug abuse. The list just goes on and on. As someone who has been married for more that fifty years, I’d like to give you some tips to avoid a failed marriage.
Let’s read 2 Corinthians 6:14, “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?” It is vital that Christians only marry other Christians. Too often, a believer will marry an unbeliever in hopes of converting that person. That is a recipe for disaster! The Lord forbids this. Amos 3:3 asks, “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” The greatest bond in the world is the bond of Christ joining two people in marriage. If a believer marries an unbeliever, the bond will be formed around some other notion. It will be a bond outside of Christ and therefore can be easily broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12 tells us, “…a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” When the Lord is allowed to control the marriage, this forms a threefold cord…and this will be strong! When considering marriage, that union should be “only in the Lord.” (1 Corinthians 7:39). Two people should only commit to marriage after seeking the Lord’s mind and good counsel from godly people.
We read the Lord’s words in Matthew 19:4-6, “And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” When the Lord joins two people in matrimony, an incredible miracle takes place…these two people are no longer two…they are one. This is the depth and seriousness of marriage. Two people become one person. Therefore, they must labor together for the success of their marriage. We read above, “let not man put asunder.” There are so many forces around us seeking to break up marriages. Married couples must be on guard against anything or anyone that would try to break up their marriage. In society today, divorce is so commonplace that many have developed the attitude that if this marriage doesn’t last, they will simply divorce and find different partners. I often encourage married couples to fight…not to fight against each other, but to fight together for the success of their marriage.
A married couple should love their spouses more than they love themselves and they should both love the Lord more than they love each other. We read in Matthew 22:37, “Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.” When we love the Lord above all, He gives us more love for each other. When we commit our marriages to Him, He will fight for the success of our marriage by guiding us and leading us into a deeper relationship with each other and Himself.
Malachi 2:16 says, “For I hate divorce, says the Lord…” (NASB). When two people commit their marriage to the Lord, and understand that HE HATES DIVORCE, that will give us the resolve to make our marriages work. When we truly desire to please the Lord, we will not want to do something that He hates.
Married couples should pray together, worship together, serve the Lord together. They should raise their children in the “nurture and admonition of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4). “Together” is the key word here. Acting as one in all these circumstances will only strengthen the marriage. The Lord wants your marriage to survive, and He wants this union to honor Him, therefore He wants us to give our marriages over to Him so that He might produce the kind of relationship that will please and honor Him.
You asked what causes a marriage to fail. There are innumerable reasons, however the key to having a successful, loving, pleasing marriage is for each one to follow the Lord together and allow Him to build this successful union. (CC) (597.6)