What can I do to not only forgive but also forget? Please help me. I’m desperate for a new change.
As a believer on the Lord Jesus Christ, you have the ability to forgive. Not only can you forgive, but you can forgive again and again. In Matthew 18:21-22 we read, “Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.” Peter’s question shows that he did not want to forgive multiple times. But, the Lord expects us to forgive every time someone sins against us. How can the Lord ask such a thing of us? It’s because that is what He has done for us, and He expects us to do the same. Ephesians 4:31-32 instructs us, “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, FORGIVING ONE ANOTHER, EVEN AS GOD FOR CHRIST’S SAKE HATH FORGIVEN YOU.”
We are able to forgive because, as believers, we have the LOVE OF GOD inside us. Romans 5:5 tells us that “the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.” Therefore, in dependence on the Lord, we are able to forgive others even as He forgave us. We know what it is to be forgiven. We should readily extend forgiveness to others, even for the harshest and cruelest sins. After all, we hear the Lord praying for those who crucified Him in Luke 23:33-34, “And when they were come to the place, which is called Calvary, there they crucified him, and the malefactors, one on the right hand, and the other on the left. Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.”
But…can we forgive AND forget? Sometimes yes. Sometimes no. Some minor sins can be forgotten in time, but a traumatic and life changing sin will probably never be forgotten. If someone kills a loved one, we could never forget that. If your spouse leaves you for someone else, you could never forget that. If you lose an arm or leg after being in a car crash with someone who is drunk, you could never forget about that. However, you do not have to DWELL on the sins committed against you. Even as you depend upon the Lord to help you forgive someone, you can also depend upon the Lord to help you think on more positive things. We read in Philippians 4:6-8, “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, THINK ON THESE THINGS.”
We read David’s prayer in Psalms 19:14, “Let the words of my mouth, and THE MEDITATION OF MY HEART, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.” He committed his very thoughts to the Lord, asking that they be acceptable in His sight. The Apostle Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 10:4-5, “(For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and BRINGING INTO CAPTIVITY EVERY THOUGHT TO THE OBEDIENCE OF CHRIST.”
It’s only when you “cast this care” (Read 1 Peter 5:7) upon the Lord that you will truly be able to forget the sin that was done against you. Until you do that, you will torture yourself as you relive that sin over and over. I encourage you to ask the Lord to help you put this sin committed against you aside so that you might continue in life. It is impossible to move forward when all our attention is on the past. (348.2)