As the “spiritual head of my house” (where my wife and I raised 5 daughters), the family was “my first calling to the ministry” (but this does not mean it was the most important). In Corinthians 11:3 we read that the “head of woman is man.” When the Apostle Paul was inspired to write of the “Christian household” he told the woman, “Wives, submit to your own husbands in the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22).  He told the children, “Obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right” (6:1). And then he told the Father, “And you, FATHERS, do not provoke your children to wrath, but BRING THEM UP in the training and admonition of the Lord.” It is the HUSBAND and FATHER (as the “head of the house”) who is responsible to be the spiritual leader and guide in the home. This is done in two ways: 1) He should TEACH his family the Word of God, and 2) He should be an EXAMPLE to his family of what the Word of God teaches. If he fails in either of these two, he is failing in his “family ministry.” Abraham is a good example of the spiritual leader of his family in the Old Testament as we see in Genesis 18:19 where God said of him, “For I know him, that HE WILL COMMAND HIS CHILDREN AND HOUSEHOLD AFTER HIM, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment” (KJV). Stephanas is an excellent example from the New Testament. First, we read in 1 Corinthians 1:16 that he had the Apostle Paul baptize his household (to show that he would DISCIPLE THEM and encourage them to FOLLOW THE LORD and OBEY HIS COMMANDS…Matthew 28:19-20). Then we read of how he and his family served the Lord together in 1 Corinthians 16:15, “I beseech you, brethren, (ye know the HOUSE of Stephanas, that it is the firstfruits of Achaia, and that THEY HAVE ADDICTED THEMSELVES TO THE MINISTRY OF THE SAINTS.”

I do believe if a man is unfaithful in his “family ministry” he will not be qualified to serve in the local church or elsewhere. We read in 1 Timothy 3:4-5 that one of the qualifications of an elder (in a local church) is he must be “One that ruleth well his own house, having children in subjection with all gravity; (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?” As we just saw with Abraham and Stephanas, their faithfulness as the “spiritual head of their house” was commended by God and thus they went on to serve outside of the home as well. You may be thinking, “But what if one (man or woman) is single?” If this is true (as in the case of the Apostle Paul who remained single to serve the Lord without distraction…see 1 Corinthians 7:7-9, 25-35), they should make sure the Lord has called them for a certain ministry and then gifted them for that ministry. I would encourage you to read Romans 12:6a where we learn that believers have “gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us” and then in verses 6b-8 we have a list of various gifts and exhortations given to those who have those gifts. Then you can read 1 Corinthians 12:1-11 with another list of “spiritual gifts” (verses 8-10) and how even though there are “diversities of gifts” (verse 4) and “diversities of operations” (verse 5), the “manifestation of the Spirit is given to every man to profit withal” (in other words, our gift is to profit all believers in the Body of Christ). And lastly, read Ephesians 4:7-12 where once again we learn that every believer has at least one gift (verse 7) and then a list of more “public gifts” are mentioned (verse 11) which Christ has given “for the equipping of the saints for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ.” Even these public ministries should serve to teach all believers what ministry the Lord has for them to do!

I will end by saying I think it would be wrong to “pit one ministry against another, as if one is more important than another.” If you read on in 1 Corinthians 12:12-27 the Lord likens the “body of Christ” to our “human body” and just as every part of our human body serves the whole body and is important, so every member of the body of Christ serves the whole body and is important. We are NOT “independent of one another”, rather, we are “interdependent on each other.” We NEED EACH OTHER, for we are DEPENDENT ON EACH OTHER! Thus, we should NEVER find ourselves saying “I have no need of you” (see verse 21).  (DO)  (691.1)