Why would a man treat his daughter like his wife and ignore his wife, but everything is about the young daughter? No communication with his wife…always the daughter. He tells her things he should be talking to his wife about. He makes plans for him and her without inviting or asking his wife.
Without a doubt, this type of behavior is unusual at best, and sinister at worst. I assume from your question that this ‘young daughter’ is underage and still living with her parents. My wife and I were foster parents for ten years, and we have witnessed this type of behavior far too often. This could indicate a sexual relationship is going on between this man and his daughter. Perhaps, he is replacing his wife with her…a young girl who can be manipulated and bullied into submission. This often begins with great claims of love, followed by threats of terrible things that could happen if the daughter speaks of this behavior with anyone else. He may tell her that if she tells anyone, their family will be broken up, he may go to jail, or she may have to go into a foster home. These are tactics that will put guilt on the victim…that if she tells, the bad results will be her fault.
We could spend time looking into the psychological problems this man may have, but it comes down to one outstanding problem…SIN. King David wrote in Psalm 51:5, “Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me.” There is no limit to the depth of depravity a person can sink into. We also read in Psalm 58:3, “The wicked are estranged from the womb: they go astray as soon as they be born, speaking lies.” We are all born with this sin nature, and without the Lord Jesus Christ as our savior, we can commit the worst sins imaginable. Without the Lord, we have no spiritual compass to show us and convince us of righteousness. However, there is a special condemnation to those who would harm innocent children. We are told in Luke 17:1-2, “Then said he unto the disciples, It is impossible but that offences will come: but woe unto him, through whom they come! It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones.” The word ‘offend’ means to trip up, stumble, or entice to sin.
Psalm 127:3 tells us, “Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.” Children are gifts from the Lord and should be treated as such. To mistreat or harm these innocent children is a special offense against the Lord and He speaks of a special judgment to those who harm them.
I encourage you to get involved in this situation for the sake of this young girl. You can speak to the Department of Social Services, or whatever agency is in your area. You can report this anonymously, so you do not have to worry about any negative consequences from the family. If the DSS investigates this and finds abuse is going on, you have just helped this young child. If no abuse is found, then you have done no harm to this family.
I will close by considering 2 Timothy 3:1-3, “This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, WITHOUT NATURAL AFFECTION, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good.” In this case, it seems this man does not have NATURAL AFFECTIONS for his wife, the woman he chose to spend his life with. It also appears this man has UNNATURAL AFFECTIONS for his daughter. This behavior probably breaks the heart of his wife, and it definitely will scar this young girl for the rest of her life. May the Lord guide you in what you should do. It is obvious the Lord has given you a burden for this girl. Ask Him what your next step should be to protect this child. (CC) (636.6)