Scripture doesn’t guide you directly to “the One” that God has created just for you, but it does outline PRINCIPLES to help you find the right man. We will list a few verses with brief comments.

2nd Corinthians 6:14: “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness” (NKJV). Though this is stated in the negative; it teaches us that you should positively MARRY A FELLOW-BELIEVER! You will have nothing in common (spiritually) if you marry an unbeliever.

1st Corinthians 7:39: “…she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, ONLY IN THE LORD.” This principle goes further than marrying a believer; it teaches us that you should marry a believer WHO IS OWNING CHRIST AS LORD. Scripture speaks in several places of true Christians being “carnal” (see 1st Corinthians 1:1-4), which means they are walking as men of the world, according to their fallen nature. So, if you meet a Christian man that is carnal you can know this is NOT the man God has for you.

Amos 3:3: “Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” The Bible teaches us that when a man and woman are united together in marriage “the two become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). This means (among other things) they should walk together in harmony, which is impossible if they are in disagreement. This is NOT teaching us that a husband and wife will “agree on everything” (such as what color car should we own or what sports should we watch together), but it does suggest that on major issues in life they should be in agreement. If you are going to find “the particular guy that God’s will has for you” you will want to get to know that person well enough (BEFORE marriage) to know if you two do agree on important issues such as having children, where to live, finances, and what church fellowship to identify with. I would highly encourage couples who are considering marriage to have premarital counseling with someone qualified to counsel them from the scriptures, for surely these issues will be brought up and discussed thoroughly to see if you can indeed “walk together in harmony.”

Ephesians 5:25: “Husband, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her.” This is a crucial test to determine if the man is “the one God has for you.” Is he going to fulfill the role of a husband by exhibiting a “sacrificial love” for you, patterned after the love Christ had for the church when He laid down His life for her? Granted, no man is going to have the “perfect love” that Christ demonstrated on Calvary’s cross, but he should love you enough to have your best interests in mind and be willing to “nourish and cherish you” (see verses 28-29) you. Let’s remember that love is not simply a “feeling,” nor is it limited to “physical intimacy”; love is caring for your spouse as much (or more) as you care about yourself.

1st Peter 3:7, “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, GIVING HONOR TO THE WIFE, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life.” The man that God has created for you will GIVE YOU RESPECT! I have seen young men (who are dating a woman and anticipating marrying her) that are very disrespectful of his potential bride (by making jokes about her or even ridiculing her in front of others). This kind of man does NOT meet the standards set forth in this verse.

We will stop here. Again, these PRINCIPLES are given to us to guide you to a prospective man for marriage. If you do find one that meets these standards, you have possibly “found the ONE for you!” I would just add that I believe your own heart will be at peace and filled with joy at the prospect of uniting with him in marriage. In other words, there will also be FEELINGS that confirm “he is the One.”  (342.1)  (DO)