How can I share the gospel with someone when I feel cold towards sinners because I struggle with separating sin from the sinner?
Thank you, my dear friend, for your very honest question, and it is a very good question indeed. The power to love the unlovable comes only from the Holy Spirit. We who are born again have this power, but the Spirit must be allowed to act in our lives. We do this by submitting to Christ in all things, through prayer and the reading of (and obedience to) His Word. We read in Ephesians 4:2-24: “…put off concerning the former conversation the old man…And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.” But, I do understand your concerns. We live in a fallen world, where wickedness has become so open and pervasive that, like Lot of old, our very souls are vexed by the effects of sin that we daily observe around us. I think that Christian souls should in fact be vexed by sins. As born-again Christians, we have a new nature which is of God, through the work of the Holy Spirit, and this new nature is revolted by the sinfulness we observe in the world around us.
And yet, while we remain on this earth, we do still have a fleshly nature, which is in opposition to the new nature, trying to draw us back to a multitude of fleshly characteristics, such as a cold heart. It can thus become possible for the flesh which yet remains in all of us to influence our thinking such that we become impatient with those who fail to respond to the truth of God’s Word, and to be apt to have a cold heart towards the lost, feeling that they have chosen their own way, and remembering that they do cause so much trouble in the world today. We might even wish to expedite judgment upon those we see as the culprits in the sinful acts we see all around us. Perhaps we forget that we too are sinners, saved by grace. Therefore, I do not believe that God would have us to feel cold towards sinners. God is love (1 John 4:8). The word used for love here is “agape,” and this is that selfless, God-like love that desires the best for others; the capacity for agape is only available to us through the new nature, as it is not a characteristic of our old self. Now, God so loved the world that He sent His only begotten Son into the world to save sinners (John 3:16; see also Isaiah 61:1; 1 Timothy 1:15). Thus, I believe that Christians should love. I believe that the solution for “a cold heart” is to have the same mind as our Lord Jesus (Philippians 2:5), and through the Spirit, you can do this. We must be instant in prayer and be obedient to the Word of God, which is living and powerful, and it will soon point out to us God’s mind in such a matter (Hebrews 4:12). Christians are called to present our bodies as a living sacrifice unto God (Romans 12:1), and this means denying ourselves in any thoughts or actions that might be contrary to the mind of the Lord. In Colossians 3:12 we read: “Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering….”
Then, we confess our contrary feelings, and ask the Lord to help us to see things the way He does. A day of judgment is coming upon the ungodly, and that is for sure (Acts 17:30-31; Revelation 20:12-15). But, as Christians, I believe that we should take no pleasure in the thought of the judgment of others, seeing that we too were saved from judgment only by the grace of a loving God (John 5:24; Ephesians 2:8-9). As I have said, judgment is coming upon the workers of iniquity soon enough, and sin in this world will have an end. So why does the Lord delay the judgment upon this sin-sick world of ours? We read: “The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance,” (2 Peter 3:9). If this is the mind of the Lord, it seems to me that we too should have this mind regarding those yet in bondage to sin. And, through the Holy Spirit, we do have the power to be obedient to God’s Word; but we must submit to Christ in this and in all matters. So, my dear friend, it is not ours to expedite the judgment of souls, but rather to pray for sinners that they might be saved, and to spread the great Gospel of Jesus Christ in love. As Christians, we are called to “love those that hate us” (Luke 6:27-28).” My dear friend, we are called upon, once we are saved, to “walk in the Spirit” (Galatians 5:16), and to “put on Christ” (Romans 13:14). This means that we must let the Holy Spirit, who abides in all true believers, have His way with us, in our thoughts, actions, and decisions. Thus, we must submit to God and purpose to do His will. The ability to do this comes from the Holy Spirit (Philippians 2:13). Do, then, my dear friend, pray for the lost, even if at first, your heart pushes back a bit. I believe this is God’s will, and the Spirit will make it possible for you to apply the love of God in this matter. (SF) (647.4)