I am a Baptist, and my husband is Roman Catholic. When we were first married neither of us cared about our differences but after having three children, I started taking our kids to my church and he decided to take them to his church too. We are now arguing over our different beliefs (I believe what the Bible says, and he believes what the Roman Catholic church teaches him). The Bible says, “It is better to obey God rather than men” and my husband is unwilling to listen to my beliefs. Is there any end in sight to this turmoil in our family and what should I do as a wife?
It sounds to me like you may be a true believer in Jesus Christ and your husband is not (since he is following the teachings of the Roman Catholic church and challenging your beliefs in the Bible). This is a classic case of the “unequal yoke” which we read about in 2 Corinthians 6:14-15, “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever?” The Apostle Paul is obviously warning believers not to be yoked (in marriage or other alliances) with unbelievers for there can be no true FELLOWSHIP (sharing in common beliefs) in an unequal yoke. In your case you are already married so you can’t turn back the hands of time to avoid this, but we shall see there IS something you can do.
It is no wonder that there is turmoil in your family for the Lord Jesus also said there would be divisions in families if one believes in Him and another one does not. “Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword. For I have come to ‘set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law’; and ‘a man’s enemies will be those of his own household’” (Matthew 10:34-36). Jesus is not actually teaching that His purpose in coming to earth was to divide families, for we know from other passages of Scripture that He came to earth so people could have “peace with God through faith in Him and His work on the cross” (Romans 5:1 with Colossians 1:19-22) and “peace with one another” (Ephesians 2:14-17). Yet when one family member believes and another doesn’t, the result is CONFLICT, and that is the point the Lord Jesus is making in these verses.
What should you do as a wife? I will turn you to an encouraging passage to give you some hope. We read in 1 Peter 3:1-2, “Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.” In short, we learn here that a saved wife should be submissive to her husband (for the man has been given the place of headship in the marriage even if he isn’t a believer…1 Corinthians 11:3 and Ephesians 5:22-24) and her loving obedience may be used by the Lord to win him to Christ. When a wife takes her God-given place as being submissive to her husband, God can work in the heart of the unsaved husband to humble him and give him the desire to be saved. Notice, it is the “conduct (behavior) of the wife: that is in view here and not the “preaching of the wife.” When we read that he may be won “without the word,” it simply speaks of “the word being preached to him by his wife.” He surely knows already what you believe and now you can live a godly life in submission to him and that can be a powerful testimony to him of your faith in Christ. Once an unsaved husband does come under conviction, he will want to “hear the Word of God regarding salvation” and he will be saved by believing the gospel (see Romans 1:16 and 10:17).
In closing, it should be said that if an unbelieving husband is telling a believing wife to do something “contrary to God’s will,” then she should NOT OBEY HIM. If your husband tells you to disobey a direct command in the Bible, then you should indeed “obey God rather than men.” In Colossians 3:18 we read, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, AS IS FITTING IN THE LORD.” The wife’s first allegiance is to the Lord and if she is told to do something that “is NOT FITTING in the Lord” she must not obey him. She must “obey the Lord.” (DO) (646.3)