I have heard of people marrying as a business transaction (like for citizen documentation). Even some marriages don’t last because it seemed to not have had love but other interests. Can you please share your biblical knowledge whether God honors or approves these marriages or not?
I have a dear Christian friend who married a woman from another country, thinking she loved him, but he found out later she only wanted to gain citizenship in the United States. She filed for divorce shortly after becoming a citizen. We have examples in Scripture of “arranged marriages” (usually by the parents of the couple) that were solely for political alliances between two countries. King Solomon married many women for that purpose and the results were disastrous. We read of this in 1 Kings 11:1-4, “But King Solomon loved many foreign women, as well as the daughter of Pharoah: women of the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians, and Hittites—from the nations of whom the LORD had said to the children of Israel, ‘You shall not intermarry with them, nor they with you. Surely they will turn away your hearts after their gods.’ Solomon clung to these in love. And he had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines; and his wives turned away his heart. For it was so, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned his heart after other gods; and his heart was not loyal to the LORD his God, as was the heart of David his father.” We could read on in verses 5-8 to see the gross idolatry that Solomon practiced. In verses 9-40 we learn of God’s anger and judgment upon Solomon for his idolatry, for God sent adversaries to “tear the kingdom away from him.” This is but one example from Scripture that teaches that God does NOT honor or approve of such marriages.
We could stop right here but I would like to show us the FIRST MARRIAGE in Scripture which God Himself ordained and we will see how a marriage that is “arranged by God” will indeed bring honor to Him and blessing to the husband and wife. Let’s read Genesis 2:18, 21-24: “And the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that man should be alone; I WILL MAKE HIM A HELPER COMPARABLE TO HIM’…And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man HE MADE A WOMAN, AND HE BROUGHT HER TO THE MAN. And Adam said: ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.’ Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” We learn in these simple yet profound words what constitutes a “God-honoring marriage.” Let’s consider two key points:
- A WIFE is a HELPER! What does that mean? It says, “a HELPER that is comparable to him” which suggests that she “COMPLEMENTS the man.” She is not inferior to the man, but she helps to COMPLETE him. How does she do that? By “supplying what he lacked.” Conversely, the man will “supply what she lacks” and together they will be ONE FLESH (as we see later in verse 24). They will give each other “companionship” (filling the void of when one is alone) and they will live to satisfy each other’s needs, for the glory of God and for their blessing. Though the man is to be the “HEAD of the woman” (see 1 Corinthians 11:3) as her spiritual guide and protector, she will HELP to make decisions and encourage her husband in every aspect of their lives. He in turn will love, nourish and cherish his wife as we see in Ephesians 5:25, 28-29, “Husbands, LOVE your wives, just as Christ LOVED the church and gave Himself for her…So husbands ought to LOVE their own wives as their own bodies; for he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but NOURISHES and CHERISHES it, just as the Lord does the church, for we are members of His body, of His flesh, and of His bones.”
2) The Woman is brought to the Man by God! This is an awesome truth! God has created “one woman for one man” and in time He “brings them together in marriage to become one flesh.” Instead of a pre-arranged marriage by one’s parents (or others) for political or other advantages, God has “pre-arranged a marriage to create a SPIRITUAL (and PHYSICAL) UNITY that will glorify Him and bring them unbelievable blessings.” This is why the man “leaves his father and mother,” to form this NEW UNION. This blessed union is designed for life (until the death of the man or the woman) and God issues this warning: “So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:6). For believers in Christ who are married; we should rejoice in what God has created in the marriage union and be absolutely committed to one another “till death do us part.” (DO) (631.1)