I know that Matthew 5:32 says, “But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.” But because there was adultery in the marriage on both sides, will it be adultery to remarry? I continue to repent daily for my sins, and I have abstained from sex since it was revealed to me at the beginning of the year (going on 9 months). I’m so confused now with what is biblically correct.
You have every right to be confused, for the Bible doesn’t address the specific scenario that you have described. It is clear from the verse you quoted that if one spouse commits adultery the innocent party would be “free to divorce the guilty party and remarry.” But we read nothing in Scripture about both parties being guilty, so I would not feel comfortable going beyond Scripture to give you a definitive answer to your question.
The only other passage in Scripture which speaks of possible divorce and remarriage is 1 Corinthians 7:12-16 where one spouse is a believer and the other spouse is not. In that passage Paul instructs the believer who was saved AFTER they were married. He counsels the believer to stay with the unbelieving spouse which may lead to their salvation through the godly testimony of the believer (see verses 12-13, 16). Yet Paul does address the case of the believer being DESERTED by the unbeliever in verse 15, “But if the unbeliever DEPARTS, let him depart; a brother or a sister in not under bondage in such cases.” Christians are divided on what is meant by the word “deserted,” with some thinking it refers to a possible “temporary desertion” and others thinking it is a “permanent desertion through a lawful divorce.” If it is a case of a permanent desertion the believer is free to go through the divorce and free to remarry.
But your specific case is not included in either of those two scenarios. Yet there are other factors involved that might shed light on your case. Were you and your ex-spouse believers when you got divorced? If you were both unsaved and you became believers AFTER the divorce, another scripture comes into view. We read in 1 Corinthians 7:10-11, “A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be RECONCILED TO HER HUSBAND.” If you two are now believers and have both repented of your acts of adultery, you should both seek RECONCILIATION if possible. If you became a believer and your spouse isn’t, then based on your “repentance and God’s forgiveness,” you may have the freedom to remarry, but only “in the Lord” (which means with a believer who is walking in obedience to the Lord Jesus Christ…see 1 Corinthians 7:39). This last case is taught by many who believe that a “Pre-conversion Divorce” is not recognized by God. They would point to 1 Corinthians 7:20, “Let each one remain in the same calling in which he was called.” Their view on that verse is, “If they were called while divorced, and cannot be reconciled to their former spouse because that spouse is an unbeliever or is remarried, then they are free to either remain single or be remarried to another believer.”
In closing, I want to emphasize that one can only speak dogmatically regarding the first scenario that we considered from Matthew 5:32, but I personally believe the second scenario (from 1 Corinthains 7:12-16) does allow divorce and remarriage. (DO) (619.1)