I was raised an orphan and abused throughout my life. How can I move on and try to guard my heart from all the negative experiences because they are killing me when I think about them?
My heart truly goes out to you for all the abuse you have had to endure, and it is only natural for you to desire to suppress those memories. You are basically asking if there is a way to FORGET those painful memories. I don’t believe one can literally wipe out the memories of the past, but there are definitely things the believer in Christ can do to REPLACE those negative thoughts with positive things.
Let me quote a favorite passage of mine that deals with this subject and in doing so we will learn of TWO THINGS that can be done to help you with your problem. Let’s read Philippians 4:6-8, starting with verses 6 & 7: “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by PRAYER and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and mind through Christ Jesus.” When you do start to recall the bad experiences from your past you need to cry out to God in PRAYER. He does NOT want you to be filled with anxious thoughts and this is His blueprint for believers so we can “replace anxiety with peace!” We must come to Him believing He is there and ready to help us, as we see in Hebrews 4:15-16, “For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” If we truly come to God the Father with believing hearts, He will remove our anxiety and fill us with His peace, and our passage tells us His peace “will guard our hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” You asked, “How can I move on and try to guard my heart from all negative experiences?” You can’t guard your own heart, but GOD’S PEACE CAN! You need only come to Him in simple faith, “casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you” (see 1st Peter 5:7).
Now let’s read verse 8, “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—MEDITATE ON THESE THINGS.” I believe our THOUGHT LIFE is where Satan, the enemy of our souls, attacks us the most. He knows if we dwell on “negative thoughts” we will become discouraged and self-destructive. In Ephesians chapter 6:10-18 we read of the conflict between Satan and the believer and in verse 16 we read, “above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one.” Many believe the “fiery darts” refer to Satan putting negative thoughts in our mind. He may do this through negative things that we see or hear, or he may simply remind us of negative things from our past. Yet when these thoughts come to mind we must instantly turn away from them and by faith “replace them with positive things”….the THINGS we saw from Philippians 4:8.
I had said that Satan can introduce these thoughts through “negative things that we see and hear.” This begs the question, “What are we filling our minds with?” In Romans 13:14 we are told, “But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.” At times we may be guilty of “making provision for the flesh” by filling our minds with the negative things of the world all around us. If our daily diet consists of reading worldly books, watching negative material (on our computers or televisions), or listening to defiling words, we are on a dead end street that leads to misery and destruction. Instead, we need to fill our minds with the Word of God as the Apostle Paul admonished us to do in Colossians 3:16, “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly.” If our daily diet consists of feeding on God’s Word we will find ourselves MEDITATING ON THE THINGS mentioned in Philippians 4:8. We will also begin to “grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ” (2nd Peter 3:18). Peter had referred to this in his first epistle, “As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that YOU MAY GROW THEREBY.”
I can’t emphasize too strongly the need of God’s Word to be a big part of your thought life. The Lord Jesus prayed these words to the Father on our behalf: “I do not pray that You should take them out of the world, but that You should keep them from the evil one…Sanctify them by Your truth. Your word is truth” (John 17:15 & 17). The word “sanctify” means to be “set apart” and it is by God’s Word that the believer in Christ is kept from the evil one (Satan) and his influences in the world around us. And on the “positive side,” we are not only “set apart from the world” by God’s Word, but we are also “set apart TO GOD.” The more we read and meditate on the Word, the closer we will be to God the Father and to our blessed Lord Jesus. By God’s grace we will become a very positive-thinking person and will be a positive influence on others. I would encourage you to read and meditate on the following passages of Scripture:
Romans 12:2; Colossians 3:1-2; Philippians 2:1-4. The MIND is the key to your success. If you occupy your mind with Christ and others it will drive out the negative thoughts from your past. (403.5) (DO)