I am so sorry to read of your tragic circumstances. I have seen this scenario play out more than I care to recall, for when a believer enters into an unequal yoke with an unbeliever (see 2nd Corinthians 6:14) it usually evolves into chaos and heartache. It is rare indeed that the unbeliever becomes a believer, though the grace of God can and does come in at times to humble them and make them see their need of Christ. When this does occur, God often uses the life of the saved spouse as a testimony to the unbeliever so a desire will be created in their heart to be saved. The apostle Peter wrote of this in 1st Peter 3:1-2, “Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without the word, MAY BE WON BY THE CONDUCT OF THEIR WIVES, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear” (NKJV).

You ask, “Is my marriage worth fighting for?” I would say, “Every marriage is worth fighting for unless the unsaved spouse 1) commits adultery; or 2) abandons their believing spouse.” Those are the only scriptural reasons for an annulment or a divorce, as we see in the following scriptures:

“The Pharisees also came to Him (Jesus), testing Him, and saying to Him, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason’?….I (Jesus) say to you, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, EXCEPT FOR SEXUAL IMMORALITY, and marries another, commits adultery’” (Matthew 19:3 & 9)

“If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believer, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife…but IF THE UNBELIEVER DEPARTS, LET HIM DEPART; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases” (1st Corinthians 7:13-15).

The second reason “may” apply to you if your husband has DESERTED YOU PERMANENTLY. I believe that verse 15 is speaking of this, for it implies that the husband wants out of the marriage. In that case he will no doubt file for either an annulment or a divorce. In that case, you are not to contest it for you are not “under bondage in such cases,” meaning you are “free to agree to the divorce.”

If you’re not sure what your husband’s intentions are at this point, I would caution you (based on the passage in 1st Corinthians 7) to wait to see what he does. Perhaps he will have a change of heart and return home. If he does, you will have another opportunity to be a testimony to God’s saving grace and the Lord may just save him! This is borne out in Paul’s last word to the believing spouse in verse 16, “For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?” Let’s not underestimate what God can do through you! As we saw in 1st Peter 3:2, a husband “may be won by the conduct of their wives.” Of course, this is speaking of “being WON TO CHRIST.” If God does use you for his salvation “you will save your husband”; that is, you will “be the means of your husband being saved.” He will turn to the Lord in true repentance and then “believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and be saved” (Acts 16:31).  (388.5)  (DO)