Is it right as Christians to greet someone or a loved one who is dead by saying “Happy Birthday” or “Happy Birthday in Heaven?”
We often hear of people who have lost a loved one visiting their grave and talking to them. There is not one example in all of Scripture of one talking to dead people, whether it be by their grave or lifting your voice to heaven to talk to them. Some also talk to their dead loved ones through a “medium” at a séance. This is condemned in Deuteronomy 18:10-12: “There shall not be found among you…one who conjures spells, or a medium, or spiritist, or ONE WHO CALL UP THE DEAD. For all who do these things are an abomination to the Lord” (NKJV). Now you may be thinking, “I’m not trying to contact them to HEAR FROM THEM, I just want to TALK TO THEM.” The problem with this is THEY CAN’T HEAR US.
I would encourage you to read the true story of a rich man and a beggar named Lazarus in Luke 16:19-31. The beggar died and “was carried by the angels to Abraham’s bosom” which means his spirit departed from his body and went to heaven where he was “comforted” (verses 22 & 25). We read of the rich man, “In Hades he lifted up his eyes, being in torment” (verse 23) which means he died and his spirit departed from his body and was in a place of torment. The rich man thought of his five brothers on earth and he then asked Abraham to send Lazarus to earth “that he may warn them, so that they will not also come to this place of torment” (verse 28). What did Abraham say? “They have Moses and the Prophets; let them hear them” (verse 29). The rich man responded, “No, father Abraham, but if someone goes to them from the dead, they will repent!” (verse 30), to which Abraham said, “If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be persuaded even if someone rises from the dead.” This account teaches us that there is no communication whatsoever between those who have died and those who are still alive on earth.
Having said that, if your loved one had trusted in Jesus Christ as their Savior they are “absent from the body” and “present with the Lord” (see Acts 16:31; 2 Corinthians 5:8). They are not “celebrating birthdays anymore” but they are VERY HAPPY EVERYDAY for we read in Psalm 16:11 that in Christ’s presence there is “fulness of joy” and “pleasures for evermore” (KJV). The Apostle Paul said if he died he would “be with Christ; which is far better” (Philippians 1:23), which means the greatest joy we can experience here on earth pales in comparison to being with Christ in heaven. So, you need not worry about your loved one being “happy.” And if you have also trusted the Lord Jesus for your salvation, you can be assured that you will be in heaven one day experiencing that same joy AND you will be reunited with your loved one(s) who are in heaven. I will close by quoting a passage that the Apostle Paul gave to believers who were grieving the loss of their loved ones who had believed in Jesus and then died. “But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 4:13-14). WE (believers) WILL SEE THEM AGAIN, as we learn in the next three verses, “For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord will by no mans precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with to the voice of the archangel, and with the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive and remain shall be CAUGHT UP TOGETHER WITH THEM TO MEET THE LORD IN THE AIR. And thus we shall always be with the Lord” (verses 15-17). In light of this precious truth Paul then says, “Therefore comfort one another with these words” (verse 18). (DO) (639.5)