Is it the right thing to pray for a person to be my husband? I and my friend liked each other, but now he likes someone else, though not mutual. So, is it the right thing for me to pray and wait for restoration of our relationship?
This is one of those questions where I wish I had been given more details. Perhaps the biggest detail you left out was WHY your friend starting liking someone else. It would seem his attractions to you had come to an end and he is now attracted to another woman. You say it is NOT MUTUAL, so I assume she is not attracted to him. The irony in this is that your relationship with him became “one-sided” (you like him but he no longer likes you) and now he is seeking a new relationship which is also “one-sided.” I believe both of you need to learn that if a relationship is healthy and one that may even lead to the permanent relationship of “husband and wife,” there must be a “mutual attraction to each other,” one which would cause both the man and the woman to not only LIKE ONE ANOTHER, but eventually to LOVE ONE ANOTHER. This can NOT be forced, but should come natural. So, my advice to you would NOT be to “pray for him to be your husband” unless he has a natural “change of heart” and desires to resume his relationship with you based on “mutual attractions.”
Now let me ask you a very important question. What kind of man do you want to marry? If you are a true Christian (one who believes that Jesus Christ is your personal Savior Who died for your sins and rose again…see John 3:16; 1st Corinthians 15:1-4 and Acts 16:31), you should want to marry a fellow-believer. In 2nd Corinthians 6:14 we read “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness” (NKJV)? In this verse God is expressing HIS DESIRE that those who have believed on His Son as their Savior should never marry an unbeliever. God knows that even though there may be some “mutual attractions” between a believer and an unbeliever, the most important mutual attraction should be your FAITH IN CHRIST! If a man and woman don’t share this faith in Christ, there can’t be any real FELLOWSHIP together. The strongest bond any marriage can have is “sharing the things of Christ together” (and that’s what FELLOWSHIP means in this verse). With Christ as the CENTER OF A MARRIAGE there will be real JOY and UNITY. Without Christ as the CENTRAL OBJECT of your marriage it could easily lead to MISERY and DIVISION. In other words, an unequal yoke will cause a man and a woman to “grow apart” instead of “growing closer together.” The prophet Amos put it this way, “Can two walk together, unless they are agreed” (Amos 3:3). Without a “mutual faith in Christ” the bond of marriage can be very fragile; disagreements on very important matters will come into play and this could easily lead to “walking away from one another” (i.e. divorce) instead of “walking together.”
I should also add that besides marrying a “fellow-believer,” one should also desire to marry a “godly believer,” one who also makes Christ the LORD OF THEIR LIFE. In 1st Corinthians 7:39 the Apostle Paul said, “A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, ONLY IN THE LORD.” The words “in the Lord” would include two thoughts: 1) to marry “in the will of the Lord” (one who the Lord has created just for you); and 2) to marry “one who owns Jesus as Lord” (not just as Savior). It is sad but not all true believers have committed their lives to Jesus as Lord. They are not growing spiritually and they are even hard to distinguish from a non-believer (see 1st Corinthians 3:1-3 and Hebrews 5:12-14). If a marriage is going to be strong and be able to endure all the trials of life, both husband and wife should commit their lives to Christ as Lord. “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God” (Romans 12:1-2). (436.5) (DO)