My dear friend, I am so glad you are asking this question, because I believe this shows that you are considering what might be the ramifications of marrying one where there are differences, whether age or other factors. I’m going to assume here that you are born again and seeking the Lord’s will for your life partner. If perchance you are not yet saved, I will begin by sharing with you that your concern just now should not be marriage, but rather your eternal destiny. How will you stand before God if you should die yet today? As we see in Romans 3:23, We are all sinners, and we all fall short of the glory of God. Our sins must be judged because God is a righteous judge who cannot turn a blind eye to our sins. Our only hope is in God’s gracious offer of salvation. Now, God knew we could not save ourselves from judgment, and that we needed a Savior, so in great love, He sent His only begotten Son to be the perfect sacrifice for our sins. Christ Jesus allowed Himself to be nailed to a cross in our stead, and endured the wrath of God in our place. So, there at Calvary, the Lord Jesus purchased our pardon with His blood. And now, what is the only thing you must do to receive forgiveness for your sins? You must repent of your sins and receive the gift of salvation through faith in Christ’s finished work there on the cross. Romans 6:23 tells us, “For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord” (see also John 3:16; Romans 10:9; John 5:24; Acts 16:31; Ephesians 2:8,9).

Now, assuming that you are saved, then your next most important consideration would be having the Lord’s mind on whether you should seek marriage at all (see 1 Corinthians 7:7, 8). I don’t mean to suggest here that you should not be seeking marriage, but mainly that you be seeking the Lord’s will as to this matter (see Genesis 24:27). What should Christian marriage look like? We read about this in Ephesians 5:21-25. This pattern of marriage reflects the heavenly relationship between Christ and His church as you will see in reading this portion, and I believe it is always definitely God’s will for Christian marriages to look like this. Do you and your intended agree with God’s view of marriage?

The next most important consideration, if you believe that the Lord is calling you to marriage, would be to be in prayer about the Lord’s will as to a life-long mate. The Lord can certainly direct you to the one whom He has in mind for you. A Christian should not marry an unbeliever as we read in Amos 3:3, and in 2 Corinthians 6:14,15. In Paul L. Canner’s book “The Christian and Marriage”, brother Canner points out that it is not only critical that a Christian marry a Christian, but one also that is of the same mind with regard to fellowship.  In Chapter 2 of this book, he relates: “But what shall we say of a child of God marrying another child of God when they are not of the same mind in the things of the Lord?  When one is associated with a group of Christians opposed to the position of the company with whom the other is identified? Such a marriage could not correctly be called an unequal yoke in the sense of one being a child of light and the other being a child of darkness, for they are both saved by the precious blood of Christ…Yet it would very likely be a most unhappy union, fraught with danger to both partners and to their posterity” (Paul Wilson in The Institution of Marriage, Bible Truth Publishers)”.

But now, in response to your question about a 5-year age difference, I am not aware of any Scriptural guidance on this, so I will add here my experience. I am saved and have been married to a Christian from my own assemblies for 39 years, and I am 8 years older than she. I know of other marriages where the wife is at least 5 years older than the husband. So long as the above stated criteria are in place, that you are equally yoked, I see no Scriptural concerns. Again, I would commit such issues to much prayer, with the expectation that the Lord can and will lead. How does He lead? Through Scriptural examples (Abraham finding a wife for Isaac, Jacob and Rachel, David and Abigail; Samson and Delilah (poor decision making) David and Bathsheba (poor decision making), etc.); through closing doors and opening doors, through advice from parents or other Christians, etc. We might often see our answer directly in the Scriptures, and again, I’d recommend Paul Canner’s book which brings out Scriptural warrants for many decision points in the consideration of marriage. From my own experience, the only concerns where age differences exist might be just the difference in life perspective, or strongly ingrained opinions or practices developed over a long period of time that may exist and may differ from your own. Sometimes, the older partner may need to be patient with the younger who has had less life experience and who needs to “grow up” a bit; on the other hand, the older one may tend to “mother” the younger too much as the authority in the home, and this can lead to lots of resentment. These things alone are not at all insurmountable but do require patience on the parts of both partners. But again, if both are born again, and both on the same page about the Scriptures, and both committed to remaining married; and I might add, with good communication, these differences can be overcome.  (SF)  (530.2)