There is a guy from church who wants to pursue a relationship with me but the problem I am facing is that it seems like our relationship is based on lust. Should I walk away or should I sit down with him and talk about all of this?
Without knowing the details, it is somewhat difficult to know exactly how to answer your question. If I were with you face to face, I would ask you several questions, such as:
1) Are you both believers in the Lord Jesus Christ?
2) If you are believers, are you attracted to him in any way?
3) Have you two had any spiritual discussions over the Word of God?
4) Is there any way in which you have encouraged a “relationship based on lust?”
Not knowing the answers to these questions, I will speak as if you are a true believer in Christ and that your present desire is to glorify Christ by basing a relationship with a man on what the Word of God teaches, and NOT on lust. If you have true feelings for this man, then by all means sit down with him (after praying for wisdom and grace) and speak to him about your concerns about your present relationship. I would tell him that although you have genuine feelings for him, they can’t be based solely on “physical desires,” but rather on “spiritual interests.” If you had never talked to him before about your love for Jesus Christ and your desire to please Him, I would be very clear and forward with him about this. God only knows how he will react but be determined to be faithful to the Lord no matter what his reaction may be.
I had said I would assume you are a true believer who wants to base a relationship with man on the teachings of Scripture. I recently answered the question, “How can I know if a particular guy is God’s will for me?” In my answer I put forth the following scriptures that give PRINCIPLES to help a girl to know if the guy she is interested in is the right one. I trust this may be of some help to you.
2nd Corinthians 6:14: “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers.” Make sure he is a true believer, for otherwise you will have NOTHING in common (spiritually).
1st Corinthians 7:39: “…she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, ONLY IN THE LORD.” Make sure he is OWNING CHRIST AS THE LORD OF HIS LIFE. Some believers may be walking independently of the Lord. Scripture calls this being “carnal” (1st Corinthians 1:1-4), where one is walking according to their fallen nature instead of by the teachings of Scripture and the power of the Holy Spirit.
Amos 3:3: “Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” Make sure you are both in agreement on key issues in life such as having children, handling money, and what church fellowship to be a part of.
Ephesians 5:25: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ love the church and gave Himself for her.” Make sure the man you are interested in loves you with a “sacrificial love”; in other words, he has YOUR BEST INTERESTS at heart and not his own. His feelings for you should be based, not on “physical intimacy” alone, but on caring for your whole well-being.
1st Peter 3:7: “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, GIVING HONOR TO THE WIFE, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life.” Make sure the man RESPECTS YOU! If he disrespects you around others (or when you two are alone), he is not the one for you. (351.1) (DO)