I am truly sorry for your present circumstances. It is a tragic and heartrending experience to be blindsided by one that you love, and I can see how this would leave you “broken, confused and shattered.” I would especially like to address your thinking that God must have let you down too by allowing you to meet her when He knew this would happen, but before I do I have an important question for you. If you are a true believer in Jesus Christ, did you ever sit down with her and ask her if she believed in Jesus Christ as her Savior?” This should be one of the first subjects of conversation for a believer when they start dating, for we are NOT to be “unequally yoked together with unbelievers” (see 2nd Corinthians 6:14-15). I have seen or heard of other cases like you described where a believer does not communicate about “spiritual things” with one before they become “emotionally involved with them” and they find out later (by bitter experience) that they weren’t saved. When emotions run high a believer can “lose spiritual discernment” which makes them vulnerable and open to deception or other negative results. If you had talked to her about Jesus Christ and she professed to be a believer, then “she is in a very bad spiritual state” and she will have to answer for her deception to the Lord. Again, I feel bad for you and the pain you’re going through, even though this might have been prevented.

Having said that, I am also very sad that you are, in measure, blaming God for these circumstances. God is not to blame! Again, I don’t know the details of how you two met, or if you are both believers in Christ, or whether or not you sat down with her to discuss spiritual things, but I can say with certainty that the blame for you being blindsided by this unfaithful woman is NOT to be laid at God’s feet. God only wishes the best for His children. He wants us to experience an enriching and an abundant life, as we see in John 10:10 where Jesus said, “I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” God sent His Son to die for us that the believer may be delivered from evil, as we see in Galatians 1:4 where the apostle Paul said, “Who Himself died for our sins, that He might deliver us from this present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father.” He wants us to experience fulness of joy in fellowship with Himself, as we see in 1st John 1:3-4 where the apostle John said, “That which we have seen and heard we declare to you, that you also may have fellowship with us; and truly our fellowship is with the Father and with His Son Jesus Christ. And these things we write to you that your joy may be full.”

I would encourage you to think on these verses and allow God to search your heart. If you are a believer then be assured that God desires you to: 1) have an ABUNDANT LIFE, 2) be DELIVERED FROM EVIL, and 3) have fulness of joy. These things can only be experienced by having fellowship with the Father and with the Son. It is only by “abiding in Christ” that Jesus promises us, “If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, YOU WILL ASK WHAT YOU DESIRE, AND IT SHALL BE DONE FOR YOU” (John 15:7). Jesus went on to say, “As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; ABIDE IN MY LOVE. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you, that My JOY may remain in you, and that YOUR JOY MAY BE FULL” (verses 9-11). God wants to bless you and give you your desires, but this can only happen when we are in communion with Him. “Delight yourself in the LORD; and He will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4).  (DO)  (518.1)