What does the Bible have to say about a man who has married three wives but now is born again? Should he go back with the first wife and divorce the last two?
Thank you my dear friend for asking this very good question. I can see that you want to follow closely the teachings of the Bible with regard to marriage and divorce. I will endeavor to share with you the views of myself and of those with whom I am in fellowship in the following paragraphs. First of all, I believe that the Scripture teaches that divorce is not God’s will in most cases, with the possible exception of frank infidelity on the part of the spouse, where there is little to no possibility of reconciliation. It is generally a principle that when one is divorced, that they do not remarry. But what happens before a person is saved in this regard, while it is still sin, it may be looked at a bit differently once that person is saved. I believe that when a person is saved, what happened in life before this is passed away since we are now a new creation; we did not know the Lord in those days prior to our salvation, and we did not have the Holy Spirit to help us to understand the truth of the Scriptures prior to salvation. In 2 Corinthians 5:17 we read: “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new”.
It is my belief that so long as what we were involved in prior to our salvation was not immoral or illegal, which marriage is not, then the Scriptural guidance of the Word of God regarding marriage truly applies to us once we become saved. This, of course, in no way relieves anyone of the responsibilities and obligations we may have according to the laws of the land, i.e., child support, or the other details of the legal divorce settlement. In any case, I would not have the married man who was married previously divorce his current wife once he is saved, but rather to follow God’s Word from that point of salvation on. In Chapter 16 of his book, The Christian and Marriage, by Paul L. Canner, we read: “The instruction given by the apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 7:12-14 is further emphasized and generalized in verses 18-24: “Is any man called being circumcised? let him not become uncircumcised…. Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called…. Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God.” I believe, from the context of the entire chapter, this is saying that if one has been through a series of unscriptural divorces and remarriages prior to being brought to the Lord, this person is not to change his present situation by terminating the present marriage in order to try to straighten out the past”.
My dear friend, the basic underlying principle here, I believe, is that God hates divorce. We read in Malachi 2:16,17 “…Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that He hateth putting away: for one covered violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously”. But, once we are saved, we receive the amazing grace of God which is unmerited favor, and I believe that we begin our lives anew. Again, I do believe that if we owe the first or second wives under the law for child support, that we should gladly meet these needs. I believe that divorcing the third wife would only complicate the issue, and divorce, at least not in the case of frank infidelity and no possibility of reconciliation, would be further sin now that one is saved. (SF) (527.6)