What does the Bible say about Christians celebrating anniversaries for their departed loved ones? Is the church allowed to preside over such celebrations?
The Bible is silent when it comes to celebrating anniversaries BEFORE their loved one dies and equally silent when it comes to celebrating anniversaries AFTER their loved one dies. This means the Bible neither condemns or encourages such celebrations. The same is true of celebrating one’s birthday, though there are those who believe God condemns that because of two examples of this in the Bible and in both cases, it was done by a pagan king who had someone killed on that day (see Genesis 40:20-22 and Matthew 14:6-12). These cases are not cited to condemn celebrations of one’s birthday, but it does teach us that if there is a celebration it should be done “for the glory of God” and not “for one’s own glory.” We read in 1st Corinthians 10:31, “Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all for the glory of God.” Whenever there is a celebration for a birthday or an anniversary, invited guests are usually served “food and drink” and thus Christians should not “eat food to excess” (which is “gluttony”), and if there is any kind of alcoholic beverage one should not “drink to excess.” Moderation is the key in any celebration. The verse also implies (in the words “whatever you do”) that whatever else is involved in the celebration should be done to the glory of God. There should not be any unseemly games or entertainment of any kind. Instead, there should be an innocent celebration where believers give thanks to the Lord for giving someone “another year of life” or a couple “another year together as man and wife.” This would surely be done “for the glory of God” and for the “glory of man.”
Regarding “the church presiding over such celebrations,” an anniversary could include inviting those who are in fellowship with you in the local church and one could even be asked to offer a prayer (to give thanks for food and drink and to give thanks to the Lord for the one being celebrated), but since this is “celebrating an individual” it should not be looked upon as a “formal gathering of the local church with someone presiding over it.” I suppose you could have someone give a speech about the one being celebrated or even a “word from Scripture” that would remind those present of the one being celebrated, but it is NOT a “meeting of the church” and whatever is said must be done “for the glory of God” and not for “the glory of men.”
In closing, since the Bible neither condemns or encourages these types of celebration, it is left up to the individual conscience. Those who do have birthday or anniversary celebrations should NOT be judged by others, for this something that is neither “right or wrong.” In Romans chapter 14 we have teaching on how we shouldn’t judge someone for doing something that isn’t “right or wrong” in the eyes of God. In verse 5 we read, “One person esteems one day above another; another esteems every day alike. Let each be fully convinced in his own mind.” In the context it is speaking of Jews who still thought they should honor the Lord by not doing any work on Saturday (the Sabbath). Other believers realized that “keeping the Sabbath” was no longer to be observed and that it was like any other day. The key is in verse 6, “He who observes the day, observes it to the Lord; and he who does not observe the day, to the Lord he does not observe it.” In both cases they believed they were “honoring the Lord.” This is what really matters. If one thinks it’s okay to celebrate this “special day” we call an “anniversary,” then it’s okay. If one thinks it’s not okay to celebrate on that day, that’s okay too. Whatever you believe, you should be “fully convinced” before the Lord and you should not judge those who differ with you. (DO) (607.5)