A “toxic person” is anyone whose behavior adds negativity and upset to your life. Because there may be many “toxic people” in our life (not just family members, but those who we work with, those who we live next to, and even those who we may have fellowship with in our local church), we will consider what the Bible says so we know: 1) how to treat them, and 2) how to keep ourselves free from being negative or upset by their behavior towards us.

How should we treat toxic people in our lives? We are told in 1st Peter 2:17 to “HONOR all people.” What does that mean? This means we are to “respect everyone,” even if we can’t “respect their behavior.” We must always remember that ALL PEOPLE are “made in the image and likeness of God” (Genesis 1:26-27). Though they are “born in sin” (Psalm 51:5) and “practice sin” (Romans 3:23), they were created by God and are very special to Him. Men (all men, women, boys, and girls) are the “crown of God’s creation.” God not only gave them a body and a soul, but He gave them a “spirit” (1st Thessalonians 5:23) so they could worship Him (John 4:23-24) and have fellowship with Him through prayer and reading the scriptures. Sin separates one’s fellowship with God, as we see in Isaiah 59:2, “But your iniquities have separated you from your God; and your sins have hidden His face from you, so that He will not hear.” When we are being threatened by a toxic person, we must remember that it is SIN that is causing them to be a “negative person,” but we must always remember that because they are “created in God’s image and likeness,” we should always HONOR THEM. Perhaps you know the old saying, “But for the grace of God, there go I.” When we are in the company of toxic people, we should always remember that if not for God’s grace (in saving us and keeping us close to Himself), we too could be a toxic person.

We are also told in Scripture to LOVE ALL PEOPLE. “Owe no one anything except to LOVE ONE ANOTHER, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law…You shall LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF…LOVE does no harm to a neighbor: therefore LOVE is the fulfillment of the law” (Romans 13:8-10). The word “love” here is the Greek word “AGAPE” which is an “unconditional and unselfish affection which one person has for another” (William MacDonald). It is to be displayed to ALL MEN, including your enemies and those who are toxic. This “love” is not based on “emotions” but it is a “matter of the will,” where we choose to love that person despite their behavior. Remember, “God SO LOVED the world, that He gave His only begotten Son” (John 3:16). Were they lovable? No, they were not. “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still SINNERS, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8…see also verses 6 and 10 where they are called UNGODLY and ENEMIES). May we be given the grace, when facing a toxic person, to demonstrate God’s love to them, as we see in Matthew 5:43-44, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, LOVE your enemies, BLESS those who curse you, DO GOOD to those who hate you, and PRAY for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.”

How can we keep ourselves from being affected by a toxic person? In other words, how can we keep a “POSITIVE attitude” and thus be in a spiritual state which will allow us to “HONOR and LOVE all people?” One of my favorite passages that gives the believer in Christ a “prescription” for keeping in fellowship with the Lord which in turn leads to keeping a positive attitude is Jude 20-21. “But you, beloved, building yourselves up on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life.” If we are to keep ourselves from becoming toxic, we MUST: 1) Keep studying and obeying God’s Word (2 Timothy 2:15; 1 Peter 2:2); 2) Keep praying to God through the Holy Spirit’s leading (Romans 8:26-27; Ephesians 6:18); 3) Keep enjoying God’s love for you (John 15:9-10); and 4) Keep looking for the Lord’s Coming to take you home to glory (Philippians 3:20-21 and Titus 2:13).  (DO)  (608.5)