Thank you, my dear friend, for this very important question! The verses to which you refer are as follows (in the KJV): “And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of Him: For whom the Lord loveth He chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom He receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?” I believe that the context of this portion of Scripture is a letter of encouragement to Christians who, having forsaken Judaism, were being persecuted for their faith in Christ Jesus. The Christian walk in this fallen world is one of obedience and endurance in a hostile world, and Christ Jesus Himself is offered here as the perfect example of faithfully enduring the cross in order that He might fulfill the Father’s will (Hebrews 12:2). We have also here the examples of OT believers who endured their difficult times in all faith, and likewise, we too as believers on the Lord Jesus Christ are bidden by the Lord to take that path of suffering in faith if we would follow after Him (Mark 8:34).

Now, I believe that the “chastening” spoken of here in Hebrews 12 is not actually punishment for wrongdoing, though it could be if needed; but rather I believe that it is the “instruction” of the Lord to His children, just like a father disciplines and teaches His own kids, so that they grow up to be godly, faithful adults. I think William MacDonald in his Bible Commentary on these verses describes it best as follows: “When we read the word chastening, or chastisement, we tend to think of a whipping. But here the word means child training or education. It includes instruction, discipline, correction, and warning. All are designed to cultivate Christian virtues and drive out evil. In this passage, the chastening was not punishment for wrongdoing, but training through persecution.” Furthermore, we read in Proverbs 3:11, 12: “My son, despise not the chastening of the LORD; neither be weary of His correction: For whom the LORD loveth He correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth.” (See also Proverbs 13:24). I believe that the Holy Spirit would have us to understand that God’s actions in the lives of His children are only ever for our good, and thus a sign of God’s love for us.  Thus, whether our heavenly Father allows trials and difficulties into our lives in order to exercise us and to strengthen our faith, or whether He needs to punish and redirect us, all things are for our good (Romans 8:28). If we love our children, then we will want them to be strong and healthy, and for this, they truly need the loving guidance of the parents and so it is for Christians. And always remember that we are the children of God (1 John 3:2; Proverbs 22:6).

Now, to carry this thought a bit further, we read in James 1:2-4: “My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.”

Now, going back to Hebrews 12:11 we see how that the writer is wanting to encourage the Hebrew saints, again in the midst of their persecution, to consider their trials more as an exercise which is intended to strengthen them, and therefore not to lose hope; also, as I believe we see in verse 12, they are not only to be encouraged, but to  encourage one another.  If we lose hope and become discouraged in the face of a trial, others around us who might be even weaker in faith might give up hope altogether!  Thus, in all of this, we are encouraged to be strong in our faith, and to thereby encourage others to realize that they are loved by their heavenly Father who intends only good for them. The Bible tells us: “Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.”

My dear friend, born again Christians are the children of God (1 John 3:1,2), and as such, we are all very precious in His sight (Matthew 10:29-31). And, even should we need discipline to put us back on a right path, we know that in the aftermath, for the child of God, once there is repentance, there will be healing and restoration: “For His anger endureth but a moment; in His favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning,” (Psalms 30:5).  In Lamentations 3:33 we read: “For He doth not afflict willingly nor grieve the children of men.”  (SF)  (575.2)