My dear friend, thank you for sharing this very difficult situation, and for your desire for counsel from God’s Word. Please know that I am praying for you and for your husband. First of all, let me reassure you of God’s love for you. Our Lord instituted marriage, and it is never at all His will that marriages should be broken up. But He is well aware of the pain you must be suffering just now, and even if it might be difficult for you to understand why He would allow you to go through such a heart-breaking time, He does care very much and will bless you if you pray and follow His path of blessing as revealed through His Word. Being a disciple of Christ is not always the easy road, but it is the best. We read in Matthew 16:24, “Then said Jesus unto His disciples, If any man will come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me”. I am praying that He reveals His perfect will to you, and I am confident that He will show you the way if you will trust Him and be obedient to His Word.

As to why God might allow such a difficult situation in your life, I can’t give a specific answer. However, in Romans 8:28, we see: “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose”. I know that we live in a fallen world, and our great adversary the devil is active in this world, trying to ruin Christian marriages and families. The devil cannot rob you of your salvation, but he actively works to discourage Christians. This I believe is spiritual warfare, and we read about this in Ephesians 6:10-18. This portion speaks of the tools at our disposal in such warfare, and prayer which appears last is a key tool. You can see from this portion that your husband is not the real enemy, but in fact, Satan is the enemy here, and our job is to pray and to believe God’s Word in order to withstand the challenges of the devil. We do not have the power in ourselves to win such a battle, But God does.

As to God’s position on marriage, I believe the words of our Lord Jesus in Matthew 19:5-6 outline this very directly: “…For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh… Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder”. The devil, I believe, is working to ruin your marriage, and even though you may be very angry and hurt by your husband’s actions, you do need to be praying for God to intervene and turn things around that your marriage might be restored. It is so hard to pray for those who have hurt us, but we must remember that God has shown us much Grace (unmerited favor) in that the Lord Jesus died on the cross to open the door to forgiveness for our sins; your husband may not seem worthy of grace, but then none of us really are, are we?  Is he saved? If not, we must pray for his salvation; and if he is, we must pray that God will intervene and cause him to take the right path according to God’s will.

Now as to God’s will regarding infidelity in marriage and divorce, I would share Matthew 5:32, “but I say unto you that whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery; and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced commits adultery”. There is similar direction in Matthew 19:9. You’ll note in these passages that the action of your husband has put you in a very difficult place. The Apostle Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 7:10, “and unto the married, I command, yet not I, but the lord, let not the wife depart from her husband but and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband.  and let not the husband put away his wife”. 

Thus, in answer to your question as to whether you should wait for him or move on, I’ll let the Holy Spirit speak to you through the Bible. My thought would be to pray for him, that Satan will be driven back and that your husband will do the right thing, and that he will give up his sin and seek reconciliation with you. Again, this will not be an easy road for you, and will take lots of faith and prayer. If you are saved, I believe that God will give you the power to follow His Word. If you are obedient to His will in this, I know that God’s way will be the pathway of blessing for you. I am praying for you, and my heart goes out to you as I am sure that this whole thing has been very painful for you. May the Lord bless you with a sense of His presence with you and with peace. One more verse: John 14:27: “Peace I leave with you, My peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid”.  (SF)  (495.3)